A Curse? Maybe not!
by LilyDoll9
Summary: Edward Cullen is a dog! He meets a new woman every night just to satiate his thirst for sex, he never calls back and he breaks a lot of hearts,he doesn't effin care! His life suddenly changes in the worst way possible, what will he do now?
1. Changed

**Chapter 1: Changed**

**(Edited Chapter)  
**

Song I'm listening to: Makes Me wonder by Maroon 5

**Edward**

_Do you ever regret your past actions so much that you could have given everything to travel in time and prevent yourself from doing so?_

_Do you ever wish that you had thought about the consequences of your acts; of how everything could be fine in a minute and the next one, you could find yourself trapped in a hole that you dig for yourself?_

_Yeah that's pretty much what's in my mind now._

My life had always been my greatest achievement as I called it. Guys felt jealous, girls loved it and me... I just enjoyed it.

I never complicated things, I made it very clear that I was the most uncommitted man alive; I lived life "no strings attached".

But man, can life prove you wrong!

I walked into this new club in town, looking for a new pray for tonight; being the hunter I was, I never repeated and always looked for fresh meat. Twenty minutes after arriving, I'd had at least four girls trying to make conversation with me, but I ignored their attempts to get me to their bed tonight, they just didn't look like enough to quench my thirst.

They were all the same type: fake blonde, huge tits, nice rear and airheads. It was nothing that could appeal to something else that wasn't your dick.

I scanned the bar and saw a beautiful redhead observing me. I thought I might have been with her before. Quite an impression she left, rough and in charge; qualities that made a bed jump in excitement.

Ignoring my no-repeating rule, I went to her, who surprisingly received me with a small smile and a tilted head indicating me to seat with her. Apparently she remembered me too, and it was great to see that we had no hard feelings, girls usually got too emotional when my _"leaving and not calling" _happened. They all had the dream of touching my life so deeply that I would change for them, yeah right.

Her eyes where an unusual honey, almost orange under the dim light, her red curls flew over her shoulders and descended to her breasts, making their way into her cleavage. Her legs where crossed and her mini red dress revealed a lot of what I would be getting soon.

We flirted shamelessly; my hand caressing her bare long legs while I whisper/yelled close to her ear all sorts of dirty things that were sure to get her hot and bothered.

She pushed me back to take her drink from beside us and introduced her index finger into the apple martini. The way her lips circled around her finger would've had me squirming if I wasn't a professional. Although my amused face might have betrayed me. She ran the same finger over her leg until she reached the hem of her dress.

She stood up immediately and started walking away without as much as a glance towards me. She was leaving; I thought we had a connection, and now she's leaving. Annoyed, I threw my head back and breathed in some air to try and seem nonchalant. Now I'd just have to start over again and I had lost enough time with that ball-warmer.

My eyes followed her retreating form; she had a damn well built body and her curves would drive any man crazy. She slowly turned around, batted her eyelashes and smiled wide at me, gesturing me to follow curling one of her long fingers.

I stood up and ran to catch up with her but she kept walking a few steps ahead. I didn't mind, I admired her round ass and the way it moved as she walked with a little sway that was meant to drive everyone crazy.

I didn't pay attention to where we were headed and must have walked for about five minutes, until we reached a small building that looked like it had been abandoned. I wasn't into the creepy kind of sex, but if I could get a quickie out of this I would be a lucky motherfucker.

The place had tall walls that looked like they were once painted with blue and a wooden floor that had seen better days, the ceiling was too high and damaged. I tried to find the light switch but the girl stopped me; I noticed that she was almost as tall as me, which accentuated her fierce characteristics.

She came close to me and whispered, "Do you remember me?"

Deciding that some chicks dig that mysterious stuff, I decided to play along, answering with a low "Perhaps".

"Do you remember my name from that night?" She asked running her fingernails across my cheek.

"Of course" huh, how important she felt, as if she was in control.

"Then say it out loud. Say it and I'll be yours right now."

Fuck, I was really starting to like her little game. There was something about the tension cracking between us that turned me on. I could barely see shit with the poor light that came in from little cracks in the building, the darkness adding sensuality to it all.

Shit, what the hell was her name? "hmm.. Rebecca" Yeah, definitively Rebecca, or was it Joyce? Why was I even giving this a thought? I just wanted to get laid, not to play any kind of game. So I pulled her closer and came inches from her lips when she backed away leaving me standing in the middle of the room alone.

"Wrong Answer!" she said with an ironic tone, which instead of making me harder started to freak me out. I can't believe I was being such a pussy, it was just a girl. "It's Victoria" She said in a serious tone. "I've been watching you from afar. And I'll just say this once: Edward Cullen you shall pay for your mistakes."

The situation was going out of my hands and I could only imagine her carrying a knife with her, or even a gun. I tried to walk away but in the dark I couldn't find the door. "I'm not up to any of these games, thank you for your time but I'll leave now" feeling my way through the walls, was it my imagination or the night got darker?

"Of course; run away, just as you always do."

"I don't run away, and look I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings or something, but this is getting kind of sick" She was scaring the crap out of me, definitely a psycho. I was hoping for only a psycho and not a psycho killer. For all I knew, she could even kidnap me and keep me prisoner in a dungeon.

"Apologies are not enough, you shall pay for all the damage you've inflicted" She approached me taking a step at a time."You shall be damned until the pain you feel is equal to the one you have given"

I couldn't speak, her face became unreadable and her eyes shined and looked almost red before they rolled to the back of her head. Her hair swam freely on the air resembling a flame burning with intensity. Unintelligible words came from her mouth until she murmured "Oh gods of beyond, take under your control this untamed soul. The pain and sorrow that he's caused are to be larger than the ones caused with sword or gun. He shall suffer to take back the pain he has caused." In a voice that sounded demon-like.

Shit, I messed up with a fucking witch!

"Pick up the form you'll give this miserable human being!"

When she said those last words, the whole place almost exploded and a huge breeze came in as all the windows and doors flung open. I closed my eyes reflexively and when I opened them again, only seconds later, I was lying in the floor and Victoria was nowhere to be seen.

The last thing I heard was her. "It's not my pain you're paying for, you've hurt others further away from the edge of what's bearable... and... I don't remember your name either." She laughed wickedly and I heard her walk away but still I could not see her; she was like a ghost. "The pain you've caused to the most pure of the souls is something you'd have to pay for eventually" And then complete silence rang through my ears. I'd hurt no one. My only crime had been to give hot girls a night of pleasure. One night and only one, I never promised anything else.

The events took a toll on me and I don't remember at what moment exactly my eyes closed by their own accord and my brain went unconscious.

When I woke up, the sun was too shiny and made my eyes feel uncomfortable, I shut them again and the only things on my mind where _'I'm fucking hungry', 'I didn't fucking get laid' _and _'I didn't even get fucking wasted and I feel like shit'._ Then it all hit me, was this the way I was supposed to pay for what I have done as Victoria said?

_Could I even be able to move? I was going to lose my voice? Maybe I was missing a leg?_ Shit, I would have to get up and evaluate myself. I started to stir, and yup, I had my arms and legs, yeah there's my head… uhmm and there's my... Yeah, I hadn't been castrated.

I tried to stand in my feet but something was wrong and I fell back down. _"What the fuck?"_ I yelled that but the echo I heard was not the one of my voice and that scared the fuck out of me, it sounded like a wild animal.

I tried to get up again but I couldn't manage to find my balance and fell back once again.

When I realized I was fighting against what seemed a losing battle, I just crawled out of the place. Surprisingly it felt much easier, so I went faster and faster just to get away from that horrible place. I was surprised to see people walk around me and not even taking the time to look down. For God's sake, did this look normal for them? A man crawling, and not even a look, even if they caught a sight of me they just moved past me trying to leave as much room as possible between us.

Shit, we live in such a messed up society where no one allows themselves to think about someone that's not their own person and well-being. _Is this what I looked like? Is this how I acted?_ I couldn't be just one of them, I was different. _Is this what I was supposed to pay for?_ If so, _why punish me?_ Every single person who has passed by made and keeps making that same mistake!_ Why me and not anyone else, one of them?_

I was so absorbed in my thoughts when I caught someone staring at me; a beautiful girl with a sad smile on her face, her brown eyes studying me intently and her chestnut colored hair starting to soak wet. I'd been so idle and hadn't noticed it started to rain. I was starting to feel cold and a small tremor went through my body.

She watched me with concerned eyes. "Poor boy!" she finally exclaimed. "Are you okay?" she asked warmly.

'Poor boy' what am I six year-old? She smiled at me making my brain mushy. Beautiful wasn't enough of a word. Wait, she had asked something.

"I'm fine" I tried to say but again I didn't hear my voice, the only thing I heard was the same animal sound, my whole body trembled and I was suddenly scared, not because it sounded scary, but because it sounded particularly common.

A bark.

* * *

**I'm editing the shit out of this shit ;) **

**Trying at least; I might check it a thousand times and there will always be a mistake hidden somewhere. **

**Oh well!**

**Follow me on twitter: Lilyd09**

**Check out ACMN at: ** : / / accurse maybe /

**Help Needed! If you're good with grammar and things that don't make sense and also have a lot of spare time please (puppy eyes) PM me.**


	2. Eddie

**Chapter 2: Eddie**

**I'm editing the chapters and adding a few songs that have been playing while I do, it's ok if you don't like them... they're supposed to get me into a fluffy lovely mood. lol  
**

**Song: Bittersweet Symphony**

**EPOV**

Everything started spinning around. I felt I couldn't breath; I was suddenly unaware of everything around me.

I couldn't believe it, this couldn't be happening to me.

Everything was starting to fade, I couldn't focus on anything and the only thing I could hear was a voice nearby.

"shh… Calm down, everything will be ok"

I guess I must have started yelling... or barking, in fact, I tried to find her face in between all the indistinct shapes and colors.

_'Way to go stupid gods; aren't dogs supposed to see in black and white?'_

In the second that thought crossed my mind, the sky went impossibly darker and the most intimidating thunderbolt was heard, and seen. It almost resembled someone's fury.

_'Oh, way to go genius, do you want to get even more fucked up? Isn't being a motherfucking dog enough?'_

What the hell, I was having the most stupid conversation in my own mind! I was so freaking out, _how was I going to get out of this one? Would I have to live on the streets? What the hell would I eat? Would I be able to ever see my family again? Why wasn't anyone answering any question?_

I didn't have any answer. I just let myself fall to the floor once again, let the rain fall over me and maybe I'd get so lucky that when it rained so much and I got to drown and just get over this.

Then I felt the tenderest touch on my back, very soothing, as if being held by an angel and she spoke again. "Shh... Don't worry I'll take care of you" Maybe she had seen the terror in my eyes. She sounded serious but I didn't want any help, I just wanted to stay there and wait for the worst, I didn't want to live if it was like this, it had no sense.

_Yeah I know realize my life has never had any sense, so why will I bother?_

She stood up and immediately I missed her touch, she looked at me seriously and spoke again, "Ok. Stand up now" She started walking away and I feared she was leaving me here, alone again. I hadn't realized that I was on my feet now until I fell back on the floor at my disappointment.

"C'mere Boy!" She smiled warmly when she turned around "I'm taking you home" You must think that after what happened I would have just stopped chasing girls that asked me to, but, what could I say? They were my weakness.

I followed her, so what? It's not like I had anything to lose now!

We walked a few blocks and then reached a small white building, that looked a little cold on the outside but once we got inside it felt cozy right away. The girl kept walking towards the elevator which took us to the third floor. We reached a tall wooden door, that looked antique and she searched for her keys for about one minute; I could tell she was getting frustrated and almost laughed, her biggest problem now was not finding her keys.

She finally opened the door, walked inside and disappeared in the hallway. When she reappeared she was wearing a sweatshirt and black yoga pants, looking impossibly beautiful in a relaxed way, as if I was appreciating art and not a real person. She walked towards me and wrapped me in a towel.

"Come, you must be cold, I'll dry your hair" She giggled "Blow-drying a dog's hair, that should fun, you know, I've never done it before"

My fears were confirmed. A dog; I couldn't believe it.

She took me to where I supposed was her room. There was a big bed in the middle of the room, the walls where a clear shade of blue and the carpet matched, just a little darker while the curtains hung freely, also light blue with details in gold to match the bed. A small but sophisticated chandelier hung in the ceiling caught my eye, it gave the room an original touch but also a little class without seeming stuck-up.

We went into the bathroom and there was the hair dryer. For the first time I saw myself in the mirror and even if I wasn't supposed to by now, I was surprised and even shocked. _Awesome, a 'Golden Retriever'_, at least my hair was the same color and I wasn't a bloody Chihuahua... that would've just made my day.

The girl started drying my hair and I looked away from the mirror, not being able to see myself anymore without thinking about everything I had left behind.

If I knew that I would have been forced to live this life I probably would have changed my lifestyle. But thinking it through, I was a stupidly stubborn fucker and maybe I wouldn't have done it.

How on Earth had I screwed so awful to deserve this?

"Done!" She exclaimed and I actually felt dry, so she had done it quite good for being a beginner. She walked away and went to a huge closet that stood at the end of the hallway. "I'll try to improvise a bed" she laughed again, the girl looked even prettier when she laughed, if it was even possible.

She took out some mattresses and started spreading them on the couch, but stopped instantly. "Fine, just because it's your first night here I'll let you sleep on the bed" She looked straight to my eyes, "But don't you freaking ruin anything please, try to be nice. Besides, it's safe to say that you don't have fleas."

Hell, I had been nice, what the hell was she thinking? Oh yeah, that I was a dog. It was exactly what dogs tended to do, walk around the place looking for something nice and expensive to play around with it until it broke, run directly to the shoes and chew the heels off, oh and obviously, _the classic: _pee on the carpet!

_As if I would do that. Although, I wonder… what would heels taste like?_

"I guess you'd be hungry. I'll see if there's anything for dinner"

Dinner? How late was it? Maybe I slept for too long. My stomach growled in response, just thinking about food made my mouth salivate.

She smiled again "I guess I guessed right" and giggled again.

I sat on the floor and started thinking about things again, too much had changed today and I hadn't had time to assimilate the situation. A few minutes later she came back with two plates of lasagna and put one on the floor right where I sat and then she let herself fall on the couch and turned the TV on.

_God, I feel so like Garfield; ironical cause I'm a dog._

"I feel so Garfield" The girl said as if stealing my thoughts. She laughed again, "I'm so absurd!" she exclaimed laughing again "Gosh, I hadn't laughed like this for so long, I guess having a dog around me suits me" She smiled as she eyed me warmly. I took a step towards her and dropped my head on her lap as she started trailing her fingers through my messy hair, I could stay like this forever.

"Sooo, I think we should look for a name, I don't think that 'boy' suits you" She said with a smile. Whatever, it wouldn't make any difference.

"What about Booger?" I snorted, it might not make any difference, but I sure as hell didn't want to be called Booger!

"I guess that's a no" she said as she started thinking for other names out loud.

"Yogi? nope. Rocco? nope. Clifford? nope. Scooby? nope. Fluffy? hmmm" HELL NO! I might have growled a little.

"Fine! not!"

"I have the perfect name and you'll be named that whether you like it or not!" She eyed me suspiciously and I was curious as hell to hear what she thought 'fit me'.

"I'll call you Eddie!"

How fucking ironical! It was my nickname from high school.

_**Thanks to Lizzie for being my first (supportive) reviewer. ;) **_

**Follow me on twitter: Lilyd09**

**Check out ACMN at: ** : / / accurse maybe /

**Help Needed! If you're good with grammar, things that don't make sense and also have a lot of spare time please (puppy eyes) PM me.**


	3. Doggy style!

**Chapter 3: Doggy style!**

**Song I'm listening: Cooler than Me**

**EPOV**

After our dinner, I sat beside the girl for almost an hour, time during which she never stopped stroking my hair**. **She finally yawned "We should probably go to bed already" I was feeling tired and I felt happy of hearing those words, if only they held the meaning that they had for me just a couple of days ago.

If only.

I sat by the bed as I waited for her to come back from the bathroom, I didn't want to jump into bed so that she would find me there before her, getting angry because I didn't wait for any instruction and resulting in her sending me out of her bed. No, I would be patient and spend my night in a very comfortable bed rather than the floor.

And something I'd never been before was patient. I paced the room as I waited for her to emerge from the bathroom. Now I was a fucking dog, I had to be freaking loyal and take orders, and that kind of shit.

The girl finally came back, her hair thrown into a messy bun at the top of her head and wearing ridiculously pink pajamas; I would have laughed at anyone wearing something like that. It looked like she had stolen them from a 5-year-old; but somehow, she managed to look hot on them.

Hell if I was my old self, I would have jumped her the second she came out. The image went through my head but I had to remind myself that a fucking dog jumping a girl would not look as hot as the image crossing my mind.

She would be disgusted. Hell; I would be disgusted at the image of a dog wanting to take advantage of a girl.

She jumped into bed and pulled down the duvet "Come here boy!" she said softly as she made me some space by her right side. I jumped into bed but somehow I miscalculated. This shit of the dog jumping into bed sure as hell looked a lot easier when you saw them do it on TV. I managed to crash against the side of the bed and land on the rug. Ouch that fucking hurt.

I heard soft giggles behind me and she was suddenly by my side. I got up quickly, determined to try again.

"Here, I'll help" She said as she placed her hands on my sides to help me stand in two legs and push my body up. The bed was really comfortable, but what made it even better where the arms that hugged me all night.

I slowly opened my eyes and looked around concerned, it hadn't been a dream, and the room where I laid was the very witness.

My depressive emo side started to take control of me when I felt that I was being held, there was something on top of me. _Shit, there's a wall on top of me, the building collapsed! Help! _I fought against what was holding me so tight and heard a soft sound. I turned my head around as much as it allowed, my fucking mobility was limited. She was slowly opening her eyes; I'd had woke her up, there wasn't any wall on top of me, it was her, she was hugging me tightly.

She smiled and looked at me apologetically, "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you" she sat on the bed and I instantly regretted freaking out, it felt good to have her close.

I had missed so much in my life already, I was a twenty-six year old guy who had never allowed himself to get near enough to any girl, who had never woken up to a girl holding him close, or holding a girl close to him, I had always ran away, I never stayed, I was never attached, and I was experiencing getting close to someone being a fucking dog.

I wondered if something like that could have happened in other circumstances, if I could have been able to find someone to share my life with, someone to experience love for the first time with. But the answer to that question was also swimming in my thoughts, _NO _it couldn't have happened, because, of course, I never allowed anyone to get close enough and now I was cursed to spend the rest of my life as a _Golden retriever _to live in a fucking celibate state... unless... eeww... I wouldn't even think about something like that.

The girl got up and walked towards the kitchen and I followed. My stomach growled when I thought about food "I'll prepare some breakfast" she smiled when she heard my stomach.

An hour later she looked like she was heading out, probably she was going to jog. The girl stopped in Front of me "You ready? I'm taking you to the park."

Wow, what the hell was I supposed to do in the park? I'd never been to a dog park or whatever it's called, hell, all I knew about dogs is what I'd seen in stupid movies where dogs tend to mess everything up and run stupidly chasing a stick.

I guess I'd just watch and do what other dogs did. _Fuck, I'm gonna be imitating dogs._

She stopped right by the door and turned around giving me an apologetic look "You don't have a collar, I really wanted to take you out" she pouted. She freaking pouted and gave me a look that you just didn't say "no" to! Now I really wanted to go out with her. How could I tell her I wouldn't run away?

An idea popped into my mind; a stupid idea, but an idea nonetheless.

I sat down.

I rolled.

I played dead.

She laughed. "I guess you'll be nice, Ok, you convinced me, you're a smart little thing! Let's go"

She opened the door and I noticed why she had chosen to go out today, the weather was really nice, unlike yesterday when the sky seemed like it was going to fall down and crash us; the sun was shining brighter than ever and clouds were nowhere to be seen. We walked for several minutes until we reached a beautiful park where several couples where arriving with their pets, some kids running around with their dogs and two or three dogs chasing Frisbees.

The girl took out a cloth and set it on the grass; she sat down and commanded me to do the same thing. I collapsed on top of the cloth and she started running her hands over my hair once again. Not even five minutes had passed when someone interrupted our moment. "Hey, I haven't seen you around before, are you new on town?"

She giggled, obviously flirting... HEY! I'M HERE! YOU ASSHOLE ISN'T IT OBVIOUS THAT SHE'S WITH ME? I don't know why but I felt very protective of her; of course, she was taking care of me in my moment of weakness, that's why. But it still bugged me that she was flirting with this random guy.

"Uhm. No, I've actually lived around for a little over three years now. It's just that this is the first time I come to this park" She made a gesture towards me "Newly acquired dog"

"Oh. I see, well it's nice to have you around now, by the way, I'm Mike, Mike Newton"

"Nice to meet you Mike, I'm Bella Swan and this is Eddie"

"Nice to meet you both, so I guess we'll be seeing you more often from now on?"

"Oh yeah sure, we might even become park buddies" She said and chuckled.

"Ok! That sounds really nice" He said with a stupid grin on his face. _Not in my watch man, I'm not letting you near again! _"Well, I have to run, but we should catch up one of this days" He said as he outstretched his hand to shake hers. Before I knew a growl escaped from me and he instantly backed away.

_Yeah man, keep your hands to yourself._

"Oookay, g'bye" He said nervously as he walked away.

Bella turned to face me "Eddie! You promised to be nice! Bad boy!" Well not even the mad look on her face could make me wish to take back what I'd done, that guy didn't deserve someone as sweet, loving and just perfect as her.

_Sorry Bella._

_BELLA_. Wow, did she have any idea of how much that name suited her?

Suddenly she stood up getting something from her bag. A Frisbee, a motherfucking Frisbee.

"You ready to have some fun? Go get it boy!"

_No way in freaking hell! I'm not going to run behind a piece of plastic like an idiot._ She threw it and _oh! Look there it goes_! As if I was going to run after the piece of shit to bring it back!

_I mean, Bella, if you wanted to look like an idiot, you might have brought a boomerang so you could do it by yourself. I'm not losing my cool. _I huffed

"Oh! Come on Eddie! You can't be that boring can you? Go get it!" She tried to make me stand up and run or something but I just stayed there enjoying the sun. After a few minutes she gave up and stuck the stupid thing back to her bag.

"Fine, if you're so bored I think we should just get back home!" I stayed still.

"Move! We're leaving!" Nothing, I was enjoying the sun a little too much.

"You're such a boring dog, no wonder why they left you behind." She looked straight into my eyes and I feigned being hurt, or at least that's how I think my eyes would look like to her.

She started mumbling "Sorry, I didn't mean that... I really am... I don't know what I was... Wait you can't even understand what I'm saying... I mean could you? Oh my! I'm talking to a dog for God's sake!" If I could somehow laugh, I would be rolling on the floor in laughter right now. She was so innocent and just lovely.

After a while we went back home, well I wasn't willing to until I saw the stupid clouds gathering around again, fuck the weather.

The days with Bella passed by harmoniously, there was nothing to worry about with her and she made me feel safe, as if I was home. She went out four times a week; I'd assumed that she had a job from Monday to Thursday, in which she spent about five hours, and left us with a lot of spare time. There was no need in filling that time with trips to the park or stuff, we mainly just stayed home and watched TV. Hell she even made cleaning up fun; the way she danced around the apartment with a vacuum in her hand and singing along with any song that came out from the radio.

Wow, I found it impossible to believe that I'd actually lived like this for seven days. A week and it was not as bad as it seemed; well… Bella made everything better, it was impossible for me to feel uncomfortable around her even being a dog.

I woke up to the now familiar set of arms around me; amazingly Bella hadn't thrown me to the couch yet, I guessed she felt bad for leaving me by myself and wanted me to adapt or something before she did.

I just took the chance to enjoy as much as I could; I never felt this way with anyone before. Bella gave me reasons to consider that if I ever got back to my old self, I would definitively give relationships a shot.

_I mean this is pretty much what a relationship is like, huh; _the same girl every night, feeling comfortable around each other, cuddling and that sort of sappy crap. Oh, and let's not forget the celibacy.

I felt her starting to stir behind me and running her hands through my hair as usual. God, that felt amazing. She had been doing that for a while when she suddenly stopped and her face was like petrified, shit, what's wrong?

A few seconds later, she burst into laughter. "Oh my God!" she couldn't stop laughing at all and it was a little unsettling, I didn't get the joke.

When she was finally starting to catch her breath, the giggles came back. What the hell?

"Eddie! No! Eddie... bad boy!" She said, almost unable to talk from the laughter.

What The hell did I do now? I started looking around but I could see nothing wrong... until... Uh-Oh! I didn't see it, but rather felt so.

Shit, I get it, I...

I was excited to see her...

I mean ..._ little Eddie is excited to see her_. Fuck this part of my life was seriously messing up with me, this is embarrassing!

Minutes later she walked out of the room as usual, to get ready for the morning, start making coffee and breakfast. Only this time she gave me a curious look before chuckling again and murmuring something along the lines of "Doggy Wood." How embarrassing!

There was something unusual about her this morning, something I couldn't quite put my finger on. I heard her talking on the phone before she came out of the kitchen.

"Sure that's awesome; I'll be there in a few! See you!" She hung up.

She was going out, on Saturday; I couldn't help feeling disappointed because we were supposed to spend the day together. Well, I just assumed. I hoped the little incident didn't make her think I was like a pervy dog or something. What if she wanted to get rid of me? Shit.

"I have to leave for a few minutes, I should be back soon, don't do anything stupid while I'm gone, I love my heels over everything else, so mess with them and you're messing with your health" She said mockingly but I heard the true meaning of her words, _mess with them and you're out!_

After she walked past the door I wandered around the apartment not sure what to do, I explored every room and came past a few pair of heels, why was forbidden so tempting? Gosh I felt the strange urge to find out why the hell dogs enjoyed chewing shoes so much... I know it was stupid but as I often said: forbidden meant do it without anyone else noticing.

I was about to test my theory when I heard the key in the lock. _Holy Crap! I was almost busted doing something that for girls is illegal: messing with her shoes! I sure as hell have no instinct or feeling of self-preservation!_

"Eddie! Where are you? Come here, I brought you a surprise!"

I ran to the living room excited to see what she had brought. Hopefully it would be Chinese takeout. As soon as she walked into the room I saw Bella leaning by the frame of the door with a very freaky boxer. Oh shit!

"This is our new little friend Gabby. Be nice to her, she came down here to ... _play" _She said sheepishly.

The dog walked towards me.

"Umm... Golden retriever! Yummy! Come here and gimme some doggy style boy!" Crap! I knew she was freaky.

Bella turned to watch us "Ok, now that you know each other, I'll leave you two kids alone. Bye, see you in a while, have fun!"

SHIT! HELP! Bella please don't leave me with her! Bella! BELLA! I was pretty sure I was crying for her to come back.

But it was useless; she walked away and locked the door. I could faintly hear her voice from across the hallway.

"Do you think it's a good idea?"

_No it's not! Bella come back!_

A female voice spoke then "Sure, and I've been dying for Gabby to finally have some kids of her own, I know they're gonna be supper cute!"

And I heard the elevator door open, the two girls left.

And now I knew what they were expecting from me.

_I'm in fucking trouble. And who the fuck wants to have mutant dogs that are half boxer and half golden? They'd look like aliens. _


	4. Dead Brain Cells

**Chapter 4: Dead Brain cells**

Song I'm listening to: Stuck like Glue

EPOV

One word: OUCH!

My whole body was in a strange kind of pain; soreness went through all of my body.

Gabby was a total restless bitch, and hiding from her hadn't been easy, I was trying so hard to make myself smaller under the bed that I felt my bones practically crashing with one another, Hell I wouldn't be surprised if they told me my knee had crushed my skull.

Part of me said _'man, you could really use some release you know, too much tension built up and stuff, just go with the flow bro'_ and the other part that was the strongest answered _'NO FUCKING WAY IN FREEZING HELL!' _and that was final.

_No buts! _

_**Maybe gabby's butt**_

_Eww! Disgusting! I'm not falling that low!_

_**Man you've been lower, remember that chick, Tanya, whom you slept with an hour after she broke up with her boyfriend and her lover broke up with her because he found out she'd been sleeping with you.**_

_Yeah, that was pretty fucked up. But there is absolutely no way I'm going to fall for a bitch._

_**You've fallen with other bitches, what difference would it make that this one's actually a bitch and the others were just another type of bitches? Just pleasure yourself, give into it.**_

_Just because! Come on! Stop pressuring me with this! I'm not doing it!_

Just there in the middle of my conversation with my internal _perveman_ I heard her approaching again. "Where are you honey? I'm getting tired of these human games you're playing"

I crouched into an even smaller ball, right under the bed where I was currently hiding.

Lucky for me, Gabby was as smart as one of the regular basis bitch, so that led to... yeah; she wouldn't be able to find me even if I was hiding behind an invisible wall.

_**You're so right.**_

_I know, right._

Shit, I'm so sick, worse than I thought_, _I'm freaking talking to myself!

_**'Good that you finally accepted it!'**_ Shit, another voice.

_Fuck me! Now what? Who the fuck am I talking to now?_

_**I'm your conscience you asshole.**_

_Huh. Funny, I've never heard about you. Crazy "me" talking to myself a while ago had happened a few times, but you, never before._

_**Yeah well, I think I was just born or something. That or I've been in hiding denial on a far corner of your brain. You, know, because you've never had a conscience. **_

_Haha real funny, you think so?_ I said sarcastically

_**Well let me tell you, you've never accepted the guilt over any of your crap before, you lived in denial but now, I suddenly found some light and I came out of that dark place where you hid me**_

_Awesome! So, you think I've been in denial, DENIAL TO WHAT? I have a perfectly normal life!_

_**Keep telling yourself that crap, you'll end up believing so, oh no, wait! You already do!**_

_Just shut up_.

_**Really? You just think your life is pretty amazing don't you? Well, newspapers's here and guess what the front page says: "Edward Cullen, sex addict, alcoholic, womanizer, compulsive liar, and now, a DOG!" Yeeeeaaahh... really fucking awesome life the one you got going on there!**_

_Fine, I'll admit it, I'm not perfect but I'm not a sex addict, nor an alcoholic.._.

He cut me off…

_**And you have not really been turned into a dog because of all the crap YOU DON'T HAVE GOING ON! RIGHT?**_

_Ugh. You're even more stubborn than myself you other Edward_.

_**Ugh come on, don't call me that, you make me feel so dirty and uncomfortable, that word is like an insult.**_

_I'm not letting you get to me!_

_**Too fucking late! I'm already here!**_

_HA HA... You know, what I mean, I will not take your bait_._ So what the fuck do you suggest I call you?_

_**Look kid, cut it off with all your crap, just call me Rob, ok?**_

_Fine Rob, nice to meet you, may I ask, where the fuck did that name came from? I mean My own Conscience's name is Rob... It has nothing to do with Edward you know!_

_**Yeah, I know, It's just a tribute to your sexy little gay crush on Rob Pattinson.. Remember him? How you go and watch every single one of his movies? You like him and you know it!**_'

_I don't like him! Stop calling me gay! And it was my sister who made me watch that crap!_

_**Huh! That would be the cherry on top right? You hiding behind women and drinks just to not admit you have the taste for the other side!**_

_I DO NOT! Ugh… I give up!_

_**Huh. I knew you where **__**gayer**__** than Ricky Martin!**_

_Gayer is not even a word, and I'm trying to stay still and not get caught here! You know, It will affect us both if that bitch takes advantage of us... think of the psychological consequences. _I shuddered.

_**Ok, I'll give that to you, you're right.**_

_Then Shut the fuck up!_

_**Fine you bossy little bitch!**_

_FINE THEN!_

"Found ya!"

"HOLLY CRAP!" we sang in unison as we saw a particular head poking around the covers that where currently hiding me.

"Come out and play! Don't be so shy! I won't bite... much!"

"OH God! I know I've been a terrible human being but please please _PLEASE!_ Have some mercy!"

And just then I heard the front door open.

"Gabby! Where's my little girl? Come here baby!"

With the sound of her owner's name, Gabby went out running as if the demon was chasing her.

"THANK YOU GOD! Thank you thank you thank you!" I said as I couldn't thank enough.

"Eddie are you there?"

I felt a huge relief as I heard my girl's voice. I couldn't have been able to resist one more second with that Gabby.

_**Wow wow wow... hold on... **__**your girl**__**? Why are you talking like such a pussy now? Not macho enough Cullen?**_

_Well, much more than you Pattinson... or should I call you Patty?_

_**Oh, shut up and go see your girl you big pussy.**_

_I guess I will, but let me tell you something before... I won! Not enough responses left there from you right Patty?_

_**Well, I'll tell you something in exchange: You are the idiot that's calling Himself Patty you asshole, I'm part of you!**_

_Whatever_

I didn't give him any time to give me any response; I ran to the living room and let myself collapse into Bella's arms.

I stared deep into her eyes, pleading, 'please don't do this to me, ever again'

She looked at me and frowned "I guess we'll not be repeating this any time soon, he looks like he's traumatized"

"Yeah, maybe he was a virgin" The other girl laughed and I turned to glare at her, but instead I was taken aback by the pair of familiar eyes I met.

Holy crap.

**Still Editing… If you're kind enough, have some spare time and want to help, you know where to find me… I promise to give you enough praises.**

**I'm on Twitter too: lilyd09**


	5. Encounter With a Demon

**Chapter 5: Encounter With a Demon**

Song: Don't trust me- 3OH!3

EPOV

Those eyes!

The same cold and frightening eyes that haunted my nightmares!

The insane chick! She was here! What the hell had I done now? Was she going to give me another curse? Is this not enough? Clearly it isn't: I'm not suffering, she wanted me to suffer, now I got an easy going life next to an adorable girl who fed me and let me just hang out all day long without doing anything.

The only thing that had changed was not getting laid anymore... Not that I want to, not with Gabby anyways... or anyone like her.

I stared at her in disbelief and she stared back at me. I felt I could cut the tension with a knife.

"Come on in Vicky, have a sit, I'll go get us some lemonade or would you want something else to drink?" Bella asked as she invited creepy red-head to take a seat in our couch. Our Freaking Couch! She was going to infect it!

"Sure, lemonade would be ok, Bella" She smiled excessively sweet.

She was staying? Holly crap, was she trying to kill me? Wasn't condemning me enough? She had to continue torturing me!

_**Wow, Genius, isn't your brain starting to heat up a little bit with all that thinking?**_

_Oh well hello Patty, I was wondering where you'd been!_

_**Really, it's great that you missed me doggy!**_

_Shut up and help me figure this out! How the hell do I escape from this one?_

_**Sorry buddy, you're on your own! Catch up with you later! That chick is seriously scaring the crap out of me.**_

_Fuck you! You can't leave me! Not now, besides you're my conscience, aren't you supposed to be here to support me or something?_

_**As I said, I've been missing for decades; ten more minutes won't hurt you! Besides, I can be supportive after the torture you're about to endure! Ba-bye!**_

_Shit, wait, do you really think she's come here to torture me? Patty? C'mon man! Do not abandon me now! Dude!_

"Tsk, tsk, little Eddie! What am I gonna do with you?" She smiled wickedly, bringing me out of my head. I was actually terrified. "What happened now? Cat ate your tongue? Or wait, was it a dog instead?" She laughed icily at her own crappy joke.

"Didn't you have a good time? I was hoping that it would help you get over your crisis, you know, have a little intimacy."

This woman was sick! And she was near my Bella! Was she planning to hurt her?

That wouldn't make any sense, would it? It was me she had pending business with!

She inclined her head so she could get a glance at Bella in the kitchen. I instinctively growled at her; she could damage her and I would never be able to live with the guilt that an innocent girl got screwed up because of me.

"Awww, so sweet Eddie, you know, caring about her and stuff." She smiled sympathetically but in an instant her face turned serious again. "But remember, good ones like _her _have already been hurt by bad ones like you."

"She's like the girls you've broken; girls you didn't even look at after you'd 'done your business; girls you left behind crying. Girls that had no right to be hurt the way you hurt them."

What the fuck did she mean with that? That I'd hurt Bella? I didn't even know her! What could I have possibly done?

"I know what you're thinking, but the truth is hidden behind the most obvious places."

What the hell did that mean?

She didn't even let me wonder for any longer because she got up instantly and went into the kitchen.

"Bella, dear, I'm so sorry but I have to get going. It's kind of an emergency. Let's leave the lemonade for some other day, please?"

"Sure, no problem, I hope it's nothing serious, are you ok?"

"Yeah. Don't worry; it's just crazy job needs and stuff."

"Oh, well then good luck with that!"

"Yeah, it was great to hang out; we should do it more often, maybe even bring the kids to another play-date!" She sounded so excited, awesome, she really enjoyed everything that involved me being tortured.

"Sure." Bella answered but her voice wasn't as excited.

_Huh, In your face creepy chick!_

As soon as she walked out of the room with her pet I felt a huge wave of relief hit me. She turned around to wave a final good bye, but her eyes locked with mine for two seconds, which managed to make me quaver. She winked and left.

"Come on Eddie, I'll make some extra nice dinner, I'm sorry about that, I thought it would be a good idea but clearly it wasn't." She said as she grabbed my head between her hands and started massaging me as if to calm me. Yeah I was pretty much altered.

Dinner was great; in fact, Bella was the best cook ever. Probably if you asked her the recipe, it would be a regular one, but if you asked for the special ingredient, her answer would actually be 'love'.

I was glad that I was still sleeping in bed with Bella, it was the most comfortable place ever, and it had nothing to do with her King-sized bed and I needed the comfort. Crap, I was becoming a PMSing girl too.

_**It IS cozy in here.**_ Said patty somewhere that seemed lost in the back of my mind.

_Where the fuck have you been you asshole?_

_**Just chilling around**_

_Yeah, awesome move, leaving me by myself in the moment I most needed moral support._

_**Hey, you can't blame me! You have some awesome wildness going on here!**_

_What the fuck do you mean by that?_

_**Oh man! Don't pretend that you don't know! ... Memory lane has some pretty girls running around here.**_

_What the fuck?_

_**YUP! You know, like 200 women running around, semi-naked or naked if I'm lucky! All of the girls you have gotten your way with, whose memories have remained and even a few porn stars that once starred your fantasies.**_

_Dude, you're sick!_

_**Oh, I know that, but do you know what does it mean if I'm so mentally retarded and sick?**_

_No, what?_

_**That YOU are a mentally retarded and sick bastard!**_

_Awesome, you know, you're so funny..__. Not.__ Fuck you! I'm sleeping now... shut the fuck up! If you're not going to be any help then just don't do anything! And SHUT THE FUCK UP!'_

_**Man you're just mad because I'm right!**_

_Yeah, sure, even you, yourself don't buy that shit!_

_**Whatever man, I'm sleepy.**_

_Huh! I win! _ I exclaimed waiting for him to start whining, but he didn't. _So, now you shut up? Fight for your pride you ass!_

_**Whatever Cullen, I'm having some fun with the girls.**_

And then he was gone. Soon after that I fell into unconsciousness, I was exhausted as hell; but there were questions running through my thoughts, disturbing my peace at my angel's side.

_WHAT THE HELL DID THAT DEMON THAT CALLS HERSELF A WOMAN MEANT WITH HER WORDS? _

_AND WHAT THE FUCK WAS SHE DOING WITH BELLA?_


	6. Reality Hits Hard

**Chapter 6: Reality**

**Song: My Heart- Paramore**

**EPOV**

I watched as Bella got dressed, jumping around with one shoe on her foot and the other one in her hand, trying not to trip, a comb on her other hand trying to comb her hair at the same time.

Apparently she was running late to some appointment, it was fun and she could barely keep her balance. Finally she ran to the kitchen and placed a bowl of cereal in the floor for me. She was still surprised as hell that I enjoyed lucky charms for breakfast better than dog concentrate eww, that shit tasted like chicken's shit, not that I know how that tasted, but it was a good guess. She made a final ballerina flop and kissed my forehead goodbye mumbling something about being back soon.

I just stood there watching her leave until there was no traces of life back in the house; she really did lighten the place. I had never felt this way before, but it was as if I needed her to breathe, as if my life would be lost without her. In fact, my life made more sense these three weeks I'd spent with her than my whole twenty seven years.

_There's something wrong with me._

_**Well duh, I think we knew that already.**_

_Ah, come on, you know what I mean._

_**Well man, I think you're whipped.**_

_Shut up._

_**No, seriously, you really think there's something wrong with you?**_

_Yeah man, I feel like different, this is not who I am at all. Maybe it's the lack of booze._

_**You dumbass, haven't you given a thought that maybe, just maybe, it's not that there's something wrong, but that there is something right? Everything was wrong before. You where wrong before, your life was slowly falling apart…**_

_My life was fucking fine before!_

_**Yeah, of course, you where so happy, right? You had this lot of people around you, but you never gave a fuck. You had a family who cared about you, but you where never there for them, not even for the holidays. You had love, but you never saw it nor gave some back. OF FUCKING COURSE YOUR LIFE WAS FUCKING PERFECT!**_

_I DON'T FUCKING NEED THIS RIGHT NOW, AT LEAST I WAS HAPPY!_

_HAPPY? IT WAS MORE LIKE EMPTY, YOUR LIFE WAS A VOID WITH NO WAY OUT AND YOU'VE FINALLY BEEN GIVEN THAT LITTLE LIGHT YOU NEEDED! NOW FIND THE FUCKING WAY OUT!_

_I JUST CAN'T DEAL WITH THIS RIGHT NOW! JUST DROP THE SUBJECT!_

_**FINE!**_

_FINE!_

Not wanting to think about it anymore I closed my eyes and tried to sleep, but everything that came into my mind where memories from the times when I used to be so happy, when I laughed about nonsense and didn't care if people called me crazy, it turned out it had been years since that.

I compared those times to the endless days of lust and passion I had been considering happiness, how empty my life had become, how I had put distance between the people I loved and myself. I barely even talked to my mother anymore, the last couple of years Christmas was just another night at the club and Christmas family dinner wasn't even considered in my agenda. How disappointed my mom must have been!

_Have I really been this bad? _

Just as the thought crossed my mind the door flew open and my eyes focused in a very broken Bella, her eyes where all red and puffy, possibly form crying. The thought of her being unhappy broke my own heart and I yearned to comfort her. She collapsed to the floor a few steps away from the door, and started sobbing uncontrollably.

She was in pain, not physically but she was suffering and I couldn't stand it. I walked and sat by her side, but it wasn't as I could say or do anything so I just sat there feeling useless and I hated myself for not being able to make her feel better.

All of the sudden the door was yanked open with a lot of force as a blonde girl got into the room instantly falling to her knees by Bella's side, who just started sobbing harder and harder.

"Shh.. Shh… Everything will be ok, we'll sort things out" She repeated several times as she stroke her hair gently.

Another cry left Bella's lips as she heard those words and it was evident that she was falling into pieces, she could no longer hold it in.

"Come on, let's sit on the couch." The blonde girl said as she got up and dragged Bella with her, almost supporting all of her weight until they got to the couch. "I'll get us some tea, ok, I'll be right back." She said as she walked towards the kitchen. I just sat there, immobile; there was nothing I could do.

"Listen, what you're going through, I'm sure most girls have too… You'll survive darling." Rose commented as she handed Bella a cup, but she was silent after that.

After about an hour of crying and half a cup of tea, she finally spoke up, sobbing between every word she articulated.

"Rose"

"I just"

"This sucks"

"I mean"

"I mean, I made"

"One mistake"

"and."

"Shh… It's alright sweetheart"

"No Rose, It's not! Things are not that easy!"

"THEN JUST HELP ME UNDERSTAND BELLA BECAUSE I'M FREAKING LOST HERE!"

"I… I just…" And she started crying uncontrollably once again.

"Rose" hugged her tightly, supporting her even if she didn't understand what was going on. A while later she suggested that Bella should go home with her, apparently she had a baby to take care of but didn't want to leave her alone either.

I just zoned out, hearing Bella so broken made me feel disgusted with myself. Someone was responsible for her tears and I'd been the cause of many tears too. I had made girls feel that way; I just wondered how many Bella's I had damaged.

How many innocent girls I had made go through this kind of pain? I had hurt them, there were other girl's like her out there and I hadn't given a fuck. I was just so egocentric that I never saw all the way through them, I just thought about myself.

_I'm an asshole._

_I've proven to be a despicable human being. _

_I haven't done a single right thing._

_Could I ever be able to make it up for my behavior? Could there be a way for me to repair the damage? _

_Or is this my way to pay for it?_

_Because if I have to spend the rest of my life as a dog and that is my sentence I will accept it the way I know I deserve it…_


	7. WaitWhat?

**Chapter 7: Wait What?**

_**Song: One Day you Will- Lady Antebellum**_

**EPOV**

At some point, when Bella's tears were slowly stopping, Rose got up and extended her arms pulling her up. "This is enough Bella, I can't leave you here, and I don't trust Emmett with little Emmett Jr. You're coming with me" She said more seriously this time.

Bella started to protest again but Blond Chick cut her off "You're more than welcome in my house, Emmett absolutely adores you to the point where I start to get jealous, both of them, and there is no freaking way you would be intruding, so now go get a freaking bag with some clothes for tomorrow and don't forget your phone" She tapped her foot impatiently against the floor. Bella was a bit in shock and didn't respond. "I said Now Swan! I'm not leaving you here to drown in self pity"

Bella's expression changed from hurt and confused to angry as she stomped back to her bedroom and emerged five minutes later with a pink bag that had a hello kitty on the front side, making her look cute as hell...

_Wait what? Cute? Edward Cullen never says cute!_

_**Whatever dude, you just did.**_

_Ahh Patty... Just the perfect timing to annoy the fuck out of me!_

_**Your Girl's leaving asshole, and guess what... there's nothing you can do about it!**_

_Whatever Patty I'm perfectly capable of surviving a night without her! Besides I have a lot of thinking to do._

_Yeah, sure you are... _

I shut him down as I saw Bella walking out of the room with Rose's arms around her, hugging her tightly, comforting her... _Why Couldn't I be in that place? Why did I have to be the one that has to sit back and watch as she crumbled without being able to do something, to soothe her, to speak words to her that could make her feel better?_

At some point of this sick condition I had grown very fond of Bella; it was like she had my back, she was always there, taking care of me, taking me out for walks or allowing me to sleep side by side with her as she stroke my hair until we both fell asleep.

I'd miss her touch tonight.

I'd miss her food... My stomach fucking grumbled. _Damn, the food, how the fuck am I supposed to get something to eat?_

Whatever, it's not as if I was hungry.

_I'm not feeling too well, I guess I'll just go lie down._

I jumped up into the bed, something that had cost me a lot of effort before, but now I was already used to it. I collapsed on the bed hoping that sleep came fast, but it just didn't. I rolled all over the bed, waiting for time to pass by faster, but it just felt slower and slower every second.

I looked at the watch and it had been exactly... five minutes and thirty-two seconds since Bella left... Thirty-three, Thirty-four, now thirty-five... _oh man! I'm going to die here!_

Finally I dropped my head on the pillow and her scent flowed all around me. It smelled just like her, strawberries, freesia... and sweetness all over.

I still couldn't believe someone hurt her. She was the best girl I had ever met; she didn't deserve suffering like that. I wondered what kind of jackass would make her cry like that. How could they do something like that to her? If I ever found out I would beat the crap out of him or even her!

In the past I'd beaten the crap out of one or two guys that had wanted to take advantage of my sister when we were younger, but the anger I felt back then was nothing compared to the rage I was feeling now.

_What is going on? Why am I acting this strange?_

_**Well, you're thinking about someone that isn't yourself! **_Patty said out of nowhere, ugh he was always so nosy.

_Of course I'm thinking about her, didn't you just see the show back then?_

_**Yeah I saw it, but you've never given things so much thought, you just let the things run its course.**_

_I know, but it's infuriating to think about someone hurting Bella, I mean she has done nothing to deserve it!_

_**Surprising!**_

_What?_

_**You're such a hypocrite Eddie boy, aren't you the guy that three weeks ago used and dumped chicks all the time? **_

_Yeah, but this is different!_

_**Different in what way? Don't you think that maybe some of those girls felt broken and degraded when they woke up hung over and alone in a stranger's bed?**_

_No, but I mean it was totally their choice._

_**Yeah, because you think so straight when you're half drunk, if not totally drunk.**_

Ugh. I hated it, but he was probably right. I didn't want to admit it, but put that way I was such an idiot. I never cared about anything, I was selfish and I'd hurt people who didn't deserve it.

Victoria was right; I had to pay for what I'd done. Why hadn't I thought about this before? Why had I gone all the way through this lifestyle? How could I ever think that I had no guilt in whatever happened, that there was nothing wrong?

_**Because you've never given a shit about anything that isn't worshipping the guy in the mirror you ass.**_

I didn't have a comeback to that and honestly, I was too tired to fight back, besides he was probably right. _I'm so worthless_. If I ever have the chance I'll try to make it up from what I can, if not for everyone else, at least for Bella. She practically represented the reaction to all of my actions, because after all _every action has a reaction._

When I woke up, I was already in a bad mood; I missed the warm body that woke me up when she stirred every morning and the bright smile that decorated that stunning face as the sunlight filters itself into the bedroom. She was such a morning person, well sometimes it was also nice to watch her when she felt too tired and the sun made her moody... _she gets up from the bed and shuts the curtains furiously as she comes back to bed._ The thoughts made me smile, but the smile disappeared when I remembered I was alone.

I stirred and got up from bed and my stomach grumbled; I was hungry, I didn't have dinner yesterday and I missed Bella. _Yeah whatever I'm not going to deny it, I miss her and so what? I'm still a rock star…_

That was weird; I couldn't hear Patty annoying the hell out of me for my 'dependant-like' comments.

_Patty, You there?_

Nothing.

I decided not to pay much attention so I walked and opened the refrigerate door to take out the milk, grabbed it and started pouring some in a bowl so I could have my usual cereal.

WAIT... I DID WHAT?

_**OMG! What the hell?**_

_**I didn't remember. I wrote this chapter around Christmas time; had a huge fight with everyone! Lol! I missed it the next year though… I spent x-mas break in a beautiful beach out of the country. It sucked. I missed my family and the traditional dinner and fights. :(**_

**Follow me on twitter: Lilyd09**

**Check out ACMN at: ** : / / accurse maybe /

**Help Needed! If you're good with grammar and things that don't make sense and also have a lot of spare time please (puppy eyes) PM me, if not, review and it'll make me feel better. **


	8. Lost Dog!

**Chapter 8: Lost Dog!**

_**EPOV**_

I couldn't believe this, I was so surprised that my mind went blank for God knows how long until something hit my toe, and coldness reached all the way through my bones.

Shit I had dropped the milk carton and the shit was fucking freezing.

Crap.

_I'm in Bella's kitchen, and I'm not Eddie anymore, well I am, but she will be surprised at how much I've changed in one night that she didn't see me._

What was I supposed to say?

"_Hey Bella, nice to meet you, I was your dog until this morning when I just woke up being human again, oh because, by the way, I was a human, then a dog, and then a human again."_

Peachy.

"_So, is it me or its a little cold in here? Oh, wait, it's me, it's just that I'm not wearing my wonderful fur coat today"_

_Me: Smiles._

_She: Runs away screaming._

GREAT!

_Wait, if I don't have my fur again, that means I'm like… yeah, in my full glory. Shit I have to get the hell out of here before…_

But my thoughts were interrupted by the door knob being turned and I panicked.

_HOLY-FUCKING-SHIT-CRAP she's going to find me here. Naked. In her kitchen. Naked. Eating her Lucky Charms. Naked. Fucking awesome. Naked!_

I went to hide behind the kitchen door. _Please don't come into the kitchen. Please find something else to do. Please, just please God; I know you don't like me very much but…_

THUMP. Holly crap, the door just hit my nose. And there was Bella, about to turn her head towards the place where I was standing. _Should I put on a smile, or should I look serious?_

Did that matter?

"What the He…?" She started but in that exact second, the phone rang.

_Thank you God!_

"Hello Rosie" She paused, hearing the other person. I had to find a way to get out.

"Uhm, just wait a second, I've got to go find Eddie, he must be hungry and if I don't wake him up, he'll probably sleep till noon." She said as if she was talking about a child, how endearing!

I heard her moving towards our bedroom and took the chance to make a run for the door.

Luckily she didn't catch me, but my breathing was getting heavy and I got tired really fast so I just leaned into the wall. I had been too lazy the past few weeks and just sitting around with Bella feeding me sure as hell didn't help with keeping me in shape.

"Eddie, Eddie! Eddie where are you?" I could hear her screaming from inside. _Maybe she'll miss me, I'll definitively miss her._

_And you're just giving up? Just like that?_

The questions ran through my head at the same time I heard her looking for me. Correction, she was looking _for her dog._

_No. I will find way to get close to her._

"Rose… Did we close the door yesterday when we left?" She was crying now. I resisted the urge to run back inside and hug her and tell her it would be fine for one reason.

_If I got inside, hugged her and tried to calm her down while whispering to her ear "everything is going to be ok."_ _She'd look at me and scream:"OH MYGOD THERE'S A SICK PERVERT IN MY HOUSE SOMEONE CALL THE POLICE."_

_The police would come and while they drag me away I'd just say "Bella, can I call you some time, go for a cup of coffee together, or even have a date"_

_And with that she'd grab the object that's the most close to her –the little lamp beside the couch- and hit me, hard, on the face, disfiguring my nose as she shouted "STALKER! GET THE HELL OUT!"_

And with that I'd lose any chance I might possibly have with her.

_It's not as if I would care, I mean I have never cared about anyone, why start now?_

_Because I've already stepped into the parallel dimension, and already care._

I got pulled out of my thoughts when I heard her sobbing harder and crying at the phone. "Rose. Someone. Broke. Into. My. Apartment." She sniffed. "And kidnapped Eddie!" She thought I had been kidnapped. Right now, I just wished I was still Eddie.

I was breaking her heart by not being there and it made me feel miserable, I was being the cause of her tears now.

"I know he wasn't even my dog but I loved him!" She shouted to the phone and apparently she hung up.

_Wow. She loves me._

No, she loved her dog.

Maybe I could make her feel like that towards me someday.

_Whoa, hang on there, what did you just say?_ _A__m I actually ready for something like that? I mean I can just go back to my life and I'll be just fine._

Yeah, my old life is just fine, and alone and lifeless.

I could give it a shot; I mean Bella was worth it. Besides I practically promised myself that if I could I'd be there for her, and if Edward Cullen knows something, it is that keeping a promise is sacred. My word sticks up till the end… just like other thing... that I shouldn't be thinking about right now.

Now it was time to plan. With my new resolution I walked towards the street with my head up high. That, until I felt that the air was actually a little cold today… _more like really cold._

Fuck.

I went to hide in an alley that seemed dark enough so that people wouldn't notice me there. That's when I noticed the peculiar blond haired man walking down the street. He was about to walk past me when it clicked, where I knew him from, he was that jerk from dog park. What was his name?

"Hey dude!" I yelled before I could think about what I was doing. But he just kept walking.

Shit, Mark, Miles, Merde… "Mike! Mike Newton!" At the sound of his name, he turned around and I took a step forward, trying to cover a little skin with my hands.

"Dude, What the hell?" He said clearly confused.

"Hey, Mike, remember me?" I said trying to fool him.

"Hmmm..." I swear his brain let out a little smoke for thinking so hard.

"Edward. Eddie Cullen." I said as if implying a duh; it was a habit that I apparently acquired from Bella because she used to do that when she spoke by the phone.

"Oh. Ohhhh. Yes dude, how have you been? How's the family?"

Huh, this guy was an unbelievable ass kisser. He pretended to remember me from absolutely nowhere.

"Fine, everyone is just fine, man the guys won't believe me when I tell them I crossed paths with Mike Newton, I mean THE MIKE NEWTON! It's so hard to get a hold of you nowadays you busy man!" Okay, I was pushing it a little bit too far, but I really needed help.

"Yeah man, you know, work and everything. So, what brings you here? I mean to this alley? Where you robbed? Beaten? Raped?" He was starting to sound concerned.

"No, dude, I just need a little help, I mean I just got into a fight with my girlfriend and she kicked me out and because I had just gotten out of bed and everything I ended up where I am now." I lied smoothly and made a disgusted face, hoping he would buy the story.

"Oh, yeah dude, been there, done that. It sucks, but I live just one block from here, I could go get you some stuff. Don't worry man; I'll be right back in just a few minutes. We guys gotta stand up for each other you know."

"Yeah Mike. Thanks, I mean I don't know what I would have done without you."

He took off and I just hoped he was serious, because if not I was going to freeze my ass out here. Literally.

Luckily five minutes later, he was back with a plain green t-shirt and a pair of worn out jeans. That would work.

"Thank you so much. I really appreciate it; next time we hang out I'm buying the beers!"

"You better keep your word on that one. Uhm. Dude" Huh, he clearly forgot my name once again. "Sure! Now I got to go, you know, busy day coming ahead."

"Yeah, see you around!"

I just waved and headed to my apartment building. I had to talk to the landlord and pay for another copy of the keys. I'd lost mine. Thank God I'd paid in advance for six months of rent or I wouldn't have an apartment by now.

I took a long shower and changed into my clothes. Wow, living practically naked for the past three and a half weeks had really made me lose the habit of remembering to wear clothes.

I went to the little café at the corner of the street and asked for the usual: decaf and a croissant. I decided to take a walk to see if I could come up with a plan to be able to approach Bella in a non-creepy way and so far I had nothing.

As I was walking through the park a piece of paper flying with the wind hit my face. I was about to throw it away, but I looked at it before. It had a picture of a dog.

Not any dog: a golden retriever. The picture looked like it was taken with a phone and I recognized the dog park.

LOST DOG.

GOES FOR THE NAME EDDIE.

REWARD OFFERED.

Wow, she was looking for me and even offered reward. I wondered how much I would be worth.

_Focus Edward!_

Right. Why was that again?

Oh yes. _She's looking for me and she's probably near._ I started looking around to see if I could find her, and just then my breathing came faster and my heart started to pound furiously. She was 10 meters away from me.

_Hmm strange reaction._

I walked towards her with no idea of what I to say, but I did anyway. Her back was towards me and when I was closer, she tripped over her own foot and trying not to fall she hung to a tree, but all of the papers she was carrying fell to the ground.

She bent down to pick them up and I don't know how or when exactly I was already kneeling besides her picking up the rest of the things.

She froze when she saw me there.

_Yeah I tend to have that effect on chicks._

Focus!

"Hey! Do you need any help?" I said giving her one of my famous smiles that made panties go wet.

"S-Sure." She stuttered.

_**Finally getting close to the action huh?**_

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	9. But Why?

**Chapter 9: But Why?**

**Song: I'll be your man- James Blunt**

**EPOV**

We ended up with a strategy, she handed me the papers and I stapled them, because to be honest I didn't want her and her clumsiness causing any kind of damage.

"And how exactly do you know I'm clumsy!" She asked exasperated. That one's easy, I saw her tripping and almost falling every day due to her clumsiness, she couldn't walk through a perfectly flat surface without catching her foot with something else, often her other foot. _And shit, I've slipped; I'm not supposed to know that, am I?_

"Well, didn't I just watch that little display back there?" I said smiling, hoping she would buy it.

"Then let me tell you I'm not like that all the time!" she said simultaneously tripping over a small rock on the sidewalk. She was about to fall when I caught her. Her arms went around my hips trying to stabilize herself and my hands where on hers. I felt this sort of electricity pass through us, which should have been creepy but instead just felt amazing. It was like the attraction between steel and magnet.

Unwillingly I let go of her and helped her stand by her own.

She blinked several times before she spoke again.

"I'm Bella, by the way." She smiled. I nodded, even though I already knew that, she didn't know I did. She extended her hand for me to stretch it, but instead I brought it towards my lips and gave it a small kiss. It gave my lips a tingling sensation.

"I'm Edward, but you can call me Eddie." I smiled back. Although I'd never liked that nickname, I missed her calling me that. She used to say it with so much tenderness that I had started to grow fond of it.

And before I could register anything she began sobbing.

Oh God, women are so complicated! What the fuck just happened?

I patted her back awkwardly, not really knowing how to proceed. I was trying to calm her down, but she just stepped closer and rested her head in m chest. I had no idea what to do, so I just held her in what could only be described as an even more awkward hug.

When she finally calmed down she disengaged from my embrace and looked ashamed of what had just happened. Her cheeks colored a bit pink.

"Okay, so, not that I don't like hugs from a practically stranger in the middle of a crowded street with no reason whatsoever, but, would you mind explaining what just happened?" I tried to joke about it, but she just blushed furiously, now more embarrassed than ever. I smiled and shrugged as if it was no big deal.

She held her hand up and handed me one of the papers she had in her hands.

And then it hit me.

_I'm such and idiot._

LOST DOG.

GOES FOR THE NAME **EDDIE.**

Ugh. Could I have fucked this up even more?

"I'm sorry, it wasn't my intention." I tried to apologize for my major fuck-up.

"No, it's ok, it was actually my fault; I don't know why I grew so attached to him. We didn't even spend much time together. Forget about the incident, I'm just too emotional." Her voice was raspy and there were still tears in her eyes. She tried to smile, but it didn't reach her eyes.

"What if I make it up to you with a cup of coffee?" I signaled towards a small coffee shop down the street.

"Sure."

I smiled and led the way, I wanted so badly to take her hand in mine, but she would probably have freaked out, so I just settled to walk as close to her as possible.

If I ever thought Bella was beautiful before, I was so wrong, her beauty was shadowed by her voice, and having a conversation with her, getting to know her, made me feel much more, I was feeling things that I never felt before.

Soon I was willing to change my life so drastically, just to be worthy of someone like her.

"So, Bella, what do you do for a living?" I asked casually, even though I had been wondering that for a while.

"Well, I actually work for an interior design company with my best friends." She unconsciously smiled when she mentioned her friends, which actually made me feel a little jealous for someone who got to spend time with her, while I had to plan for about an hour to get to 'meet her'.

I remembered that her schedule wasn't heavy and I got curious. "So, is that a full time job or…"

"No, I am only in charge of supervising, so I just have to show up for three days a week."

"Interesting."

"So, what are you ordering? I'll have a moccachino."

"I think I'll have the same. I've never tried those." I was more of a black coffee-good-for-hangovers kind of guy, but I couldn't say that.

"What?" She was surprised. She narrowed her eyes at me and stared in disbelief.

"What, What?" I said mockingly, I seriously hoped I hadn't said the hangover thing aloud; with as much talking to myself as I'd done in the past days found it hard to differentiate.

"Have you been abducted by the aliens by the past twenty years or something? It's a capital crime to live on this Earth and never have had that smooth great combination of caffeine and chocolate drifting down your mouth, and making your tongue experience the most amazing feeling ever!"

"Okay, so I get that you like moccas"

"I like them? That's an understatement. If I had to pick up between anything and one of those, I'd definitively pick mocca! So, no I do not like it, I love it!"

The way she spoke, with so much conviction, even if it was about coffee, made me fall in some sort of trance, I was hypnotized by the soft movement of her lips, the way her tongue rolled the words so effortlessly and the angelical voice that came out as the sound of chiming bells.

I was brought back by the snap of fingers in my face. "Edward!" She giggled.

Could it be possible for me to embarrass myself even more? "Yeah. Uhm. Sorry."

I was saved by the bell. Our drinks arrived in that second. Phew.

We continued talking for what seemed like hours but even so time seemed to pass by too fast. It was a contradiction. I couldn't get enough of her.

By now, I knew that her favorite food was lasagna, she was very open-minded about music but absolutely hated rap. She'd lived by herself since the time she was attending college, her parents were divorced. She'd been raised in a small town called Forks with her father, who was never very interested in her life, a little distant if you could say so. She also had an older brother that had lost contact for a while.

I had never known this much about a woman before. I had never been interested in other people's lives before, I barely ever listened to Jasper's rants, and he used to be my best friend. _People must think I'm such an asshole. Maybe I am._

But with her, the information she'd given me didn't seem enough; I wanted to know which college she had attended; how was she during high school? Did she enjoy parties and social events? Was she dating anyone?

We left the coffee shop and I offered to walk her home with the excuse of wanting her to be safe. Of course I wanted that, but it was also a selfish trick to spend some more time with her.

When we reached her doorway she turned around and smiled softly as her cheeks flushed a little. It was now about eight o'clock, the sky was darkening, I didn't want to say good-bye and I couldn't believe it was just yesterday that I had been living inside that cozy apartment with her, sleeping in the same bed.

"You want to come in for a little while?" She blushed deeper.

"Yeah, sure?" Unconsciously I made it a question. I had been invited in so many times, but this time was so different, this girl was like no other and I definitively felt nervous.

She giggled and I was once again captured by how beautiful and carefree she was.

When the door opened I expected to see the same order, the cleanness, the neatness, but I was surprised when the whole place was upside-down, everything was scattered on the floor and things randomly lying on the floor.

She turned towards me. "Oh shit I forgot." Her cheeks got tomato red and turned her attention away, I didn't know if she was embarrassed by the mess or by the fact that she'd cursed. She didn't seem like the type of person who curses at all.

"Hey." I talked so that she would look at me. "It's ok." Her eyes finally met mine.

"I'm so sorry; I have been so distracted that I totally forgot the mess that I'd done here."

I chuckled. "Mess is an understatement." She laughed with me. "Tell you what. I'll help you clean up and you tell me what exactly happened here."

"Fine, but don't laugh."

"Shoot."

We started picking up things as soon as she closed the door.

"Okay, so I came home yesterday, because I spent the night at my best friend's place. So, I came home and couldn't find my dog. The one in the picture from the papers we've stapled through the whole city, so I just freaked out and started looking everywhere for him, and I mean everywhere, even behind the lamp, or under the clock in the wall." She made fun of herself; she wanted to laugh about it but was still worried.

"So, your pet ran away?"

"Well I thought so, but then I went into my kitchen I found something else, which can only indicate that someone broke in and stole my dog."

Holy Crap, I might be in trouble.

"So what did you find?" I was nervous now; I couldn't let her discover it was me, worse if she thought I broke in to her apartment.

"The person who broke in tried to eat my lucky charms and left them in the counter when he or she escaped. But the police didn't find it like enough evidence of a possible crime, plus the fact that there was nothing missing and they claimed that my dog must have simply run away." She finished her sentence with a pout that made her look like the cutest thing ever.

I stopped picking things up and took her face in between both of my hands. "I'll help you look for him, don't worry."

She nodded and I couldn't help but sink in the depth of her brown eyes. I leaned closer and was about to touch her lips with mine, when words left my mouth. I don't know where they came from, but I couldn't stop them from flowing.

"Bella, I think I like y…" Her eyes watered and she softly placed her hand in my mouth, to stop me from continuing. When her fingers reached my skin I could feel the same electrical charge between us, and in the whole environment surrounding us.

"Edward, please don't."

I was confused as hell, I had no idea where this came from or what she meant by it at all.

"But why?" I know I shouldn't question her. Maybe she didn't feel the attraction I felt, maybe there was someone else, but I wanted to know, I wouldn't give up. "Don't you feel it? This between us? There is something Bella."

I had never felt this way before and I wouldn't let it go just like that.

She took a step back. I could only think that maybe it was too much too fast. We'd just met, but it was obvious, there was something.

"I just wish I'd met you before, because now…"

**Ooh! Suspense!**

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	10. Deal With It

**Chapter 10: Deal With It**

**Song: A beautiful Mess- Jason Mraz**

**BPOV**

_It's funny how some things just tend to fall into place when you're not even trying, either good or bad. In my case I'm sure that everything that happens just does for a reason even if at the time it's a mystery._

That had always been my philosophy, but right now, today I can't help but doubt it.

Everything started some time ago. I was with Alice and Rose, my best friends since college, who were trying to convince me that I had no life.

"_Oh you guys like come on, you're so bitter and bored in your own boring lives that you feel the need to come and torture ME because of my lack of social outings."_

"_Well, duh, Bella, I mean, look at me I'm over nine months pregnant and about to explode at any second between today and six or seven days. I can barely move even to the bathroom. Then look at Alice, she's this super controlling bitch that no one dares to approach because she'll instantly start talking on and on about nonsense and how you should change your wardrobe. She has no friends two of us and her mom."_

_With that comment Alice stood up. "HEY!" And she tried to reach the back Rose's head to slap her playfully, but Rose stopped her with one of her deathly glares._

"_Don't. You. Dare. To. Hit. The pregnant Lady!" _

_And with that we all burst into laughter, totally uncontrollable. We were like this every time, you would think that with years we would have grown up and be mature… well WRONG! We were worse every time and I swear that by the time Rose's kid was old enough, he'd totally be one of those who would have to keep repeating to their moms every five minutes: "Mom, you're embarrassing me". When I commented about this, she didn't deny it. I was totally right._

"_Huh. As if. Pregnant Lady… Pfft" Alice said still laughing. "More like the pregnant bitch."_

"_Whatever Alice." She tried to blow it off as if she didn't care. But we all knew she was dying to say something. She contained herself. "Now, Bella, you see my point, you're the only one of us that can get your ass out there and be accepted by others. And you still need A MAAAN." _

"_Oh, come on Rose, just because you're already married and Jasper is stuck with Alice…" Alice started to protest put Rosalie glared at her, daring her to deny anything said. She just huffed in annoyance and crossed arms. "It doesn't mean I won't have you in my life anymore, and besides I'm young and free, I could have a man. If I wanted to."_

Rose had married my brother Emmett about five months ago. They had been together for about three years, but it wasn't until Rosalie dropped the bomb that she was having his kid that he'd felt brave enough to get on one knee. Yeah, he had been carrying the ring on his pocket for months and claimed that he hadn't found the right time. Now Rose felt that I was being left behind, because on her wedding, Alice met her brother Jasper and, I quote "Fell madly in love right then and there under the moonlight and shining stars."

"_That's the point, you're stuck with Jake, honey, you have to move on, he's been gone for months, get over it." _

She was probably right, but I just couldn't, Jacob Black had been my best friend for as long as I could remember. Our fathers used to go out fishing for days and we were left with each other. Well, not exactly, but pretty much.

His older sister was supposed to take care of us and earn some extra allowance money for baby-sitting. She never did, she waited until our parents where gone and instructed us where the food was and when she was coming back, emergency numbers: 911. _"Don't you dare fucking calling me for your nonsense!"_ It was what she told us every time.

It was no surprise that when we turned twelve she came back home and said she was leaving for good. Her boyfriend from Seattle (guess that's where she spent so much time) had asked her to move in with him and she had already made the decision.

Billy, her father, almost had a heart attack when he found out. His daughter was eighteen years old, and he felt the need to keep her safe at home, away from the real world, but at the end he had to let her go.

So after that, it was just me and Jake, we were best friends. He was my first kiss, my first boyfriend, my first time, my first love, my first break up, my first everything. We went our separate ways when we left for college, he picked NYU, and I got a scholarship in the Art Institute of California. I couldn't refuse taking the scholarship, it was a once in a lifetime opportunity, so I said goodbye to my life in Forks, Washington. It was so hard, but after a while I managed to put it aside… with the help of my two new best friends of course.

When we finished college, we had no idea where to go. We definitively didn't want to go our separate ways and I didn't want to go back to Forks, I would definitively find my death if I went back there. Rose had no plans of going back to her parents either; she said she would kill herself before that happened. Alice, our savior, suggested that we stayed in California, her parents owned a huge house in the Orange County (I know… very OC) and she wanted to go back to them as they were really close. We had visited them a couple of times for the holidays or something like that and they were always very warm and welcoming. They immediately started considering us as part of their family.

We didn't consider it for too long, we knew it was the best idea and my brother was already living here, so I'd have some support. He owned his own tattoo shop, which was weird because he just had one or two; he was such a softy with a huge obsession towards tattoos and an aversion to needles.

Rose and I rented a small apartment in Los Angeles with our entire life savings and started looking for jobs right away. In just a week we both had already been called, Rose was a kinder garden teacher and I got a job as a secretary.

We didn't exactly love our jobs, but we had to deal with it. Three months later, Alice came to us with the hugest smile ever, and gave us the best news.

"_Oh My God, Oh My God, Oh My God, Oh My God, Oh My God, you guys!" We had no idea what was going on, but it seemed huge._

"_What is it Alice? Just say it!" Rose exclaimed, as impatient as ever._

"_You guys are going to love our new jobs, I mean we get to work together and everything, and we will totally put in practice our real careers and not just settling for whatever!"_

"_Whoa, whoa, whoa, hang on there! What are you talking about?" Alice had been as random as ever and I didn't understand anything she said._

"_Okay, like, my parents are borrowing us some money so we can have our own business, we'll be like partners, and we'll get to boss people around and be awesome and it will start out a small business but I've made some marketing studies and I found that our interior design business is going to grow huge!" She paused to catch her breath and honestly, my jaw was hanging. _

_When everything was digested we all started jumping around and squealing, we were having our first opportunity, we were going to go for it!_

_I paused and stared at Alice. "Alice, what do you mean partners? We barely have any money and your parents will be practically sponsoring everything, it will be your business and we'll work for you right?"_

"_No silly, you both are totally family, it will be our family business! Besides, we are just borrowing the money; we will have to pay every penny with the sweat of our foreheads! And then it will be totally ours, equal share."_

"_Alice, has anyone told you how amazing you are?" _

"_Well, I love to hear it every time!"_

"_Oh, don't be so cocky!" Rose said, but she really felt the same way towards her._

_We group hugged once again and since then we have been working our asses off for our business._

A year ago, we paid all of our debts and finally, the business, the profits and everything was straightly ours. The business expanded as Alice predicted and now there was people working for us, architects, designers, secretaries, cleaning people, and a lot more in just three years and we now attended even people who called us from other countries.

We really didn't need to stop by as much as we had in the beginning, we had employees for practically everything, but we did so. It was like our excuse to see each other, as if we needed one. We "worked" three days a week and then Thursdays where our days, just like we used to back in college, we would meet for breakfast and hang out all day. We did so every two weeks; we never ran out of things to talk about and kept close as ever.

We are so young and had fulfilled our dreams, at nearly twenty-five years old, we where as successful as we dreamed of when we fell asleep in our dorm room with books scattered everywhere, with planes and drawings on every flat surface, with samples of fabric in every corner of the place.

I hated to admit it, but I really was starting to feel a little bit excluded, my two best friends had found the love of their lives, and naturally I was now the fifth wheel in our outings.

I felt worse now that Jake had come in and out of my life once again. He had taken a temporary job here in California, and we started seeing each other again. But this time it was different, I tried to deny it, but the truth remained underneath; he was trying to forget.

When Leah knocked at his door that unusually cold October morning begging for another chance, he didn't think it twice to do so, and I was left behind once again. I knew he would have stayed if I asked him to; if I had been selfish enough to do it, but I couldn't fight against love, and what they had was definitively love.

This time it didn't hurt as much, I had experience in dealing with this stuff and I quickly recovered, but refused to date anyone Rose and Ali tried to set me up with.

"_But Bella… We have to go out! It's my birthday! Oh come on come on come on!"_

_Alice gave me the puppy eyes._

_I tried to resist._

"_Pleasy Belly! I even excluded the guys so this will be a GIRLS-NIGHT-OUT!" She exclaimed with too much excitement._

_I know I was being egoist, but if I had to sit and watch how they cuddled with their loved ones I would definitively throw up, or start crying… probably both. _

"_Promise?" I said feeling ashamed of my selfishness._

"_Yeah! It's going to be like the good old times… Just that now we'll replace super-hot-guys-drop-their-pants-and-show-me-what-they-got-Rosalie with a very pregnant one who's going to die of self pity and envy 'cos she won't be able to drink her ass off!"_

_Just then something flew right in front of Alice, missing by mere inches her face. We both turned to see what it was and discovered a pink ballerina flat and a very guilty and mad looking Rosalie sitting in the couch._

_Alice stuck her tongue out to her. "You missed!"_

"_It was on purpose, because if you keep on talking, the next one won't miss at all."_

_And with that we left for the club, Rose was wearing a beautiful red satin dress that showed her about-to-explode-Belly. Alice wore a black dress and stilettos that suited her perfectly and looked like a super model, completing the outfit with a pretty necklace. And as for me, I wore a lovely grey dress that hugged every curve on my body and accentuated them perfectly, a pair of stilettos and silver earrings._

_Everything was going fine, we had had a couple of drinks, Rosalie had complained about the lemonade she had asked for, gossips where included every now and then in our conversation, but then I heard the only thing that could ruin the night._

"_Girls! Calm down calm down, we're here now!" The boys had crashed our 'party'. I shouldn't have felt mad or anything, they where our friends too, but it felt like such an intrusion. As soon as Alice saw Jasper they went to the dance floor and Rose and Emmett found their place in a far away corner and as usual did things I didn't want to know about._

_I felt somehow betrayed and with my body already intoxicated by the few drinks I'd had, I let myself go in the self pity, in the feelings of abandonment and drank until everything made sense and at the same time nothing did; until the night became a blur and I got lost in its shadow; until everything went black._

That sequence of events had brought me here, to where I am now.

_Doubting my own theories, not sure about how things will work out, and throwing away what could have been something else. Standing right in front of what could only be described as sex on legs, explaining something I don't fully understand myself._

I met him today while I was looking for Eddie; he came by and offered to help. At first I was so startled that I couldn't even think straight, a gorgeous man standing there, his hair the color of copper, white flawless skin, naturally red juicy lips, and a body to die for, abs of steel _(yeah, I even imagined those) _and arms… Oh! The arms that could lift a truck! My eyes danced by their own will, taking in anything they could, until they reached his eyes, deep green pools. Forest Green.

I was so surprised at myself by the fact that I asked him to come in. It's not as if I wouldn't have done it in any other time, but this was not any other time, I had a lot in my mind and I had had a hard time even telling Rosalie when she came by yesterday. Luckily she held me and understood that with time I'd be able to confide my secret. But not now; I needed time and I needed space.

I was so freaked out that I left her the most confusing message, as soon as she heard it she came to look for me. When I saw her I broke down, I couldn't continue keeping it all in. I spent the night at her place, Emmett was worried as hell, but I couldn't handle it and told him to mind his own business. He didn't press on the subject; we might have not been as close, with him living with our grandparents and me at our dad's most of our lives, but he understood and got me well enough to know I'd tell him when I was ready.

I was drawn out of my thoughts when Edward held my face gently in his hands and started leaning forward. I didn't know how to react; I had so much in my mind that dealing with this would only bring more confusion; he stopped just inches away from my lips and started saying something.

"Bella, I think I like y…" I blinked back tears as I placed my hand in his mouth to stop him. Even if I had figured out what he was about to say, I didn't want to hear it because it would make it more real and I didn't need that at the moment. An electric atmosphere settled between us as my fingers touched his skin, making everything harder, I felt some sort of pull and I'm sure he felt it too.

"Edward, please don't." I said, but my voice held little amount of conviction. By the look on his face, he wasn't giving up.

"But why?" he paused for a second "Don't you feel it? This between us? There is something Bella."

I just took a step behind. I don't know why, but I needed to explain this to him. I understood that after the words left my mouth everything would change and he would run away from me, from what could have been, but sooner or later he would find out, and I'd rather be rejected now than when I grew attached.

"I just wish I'd met you before, because now…" I've fucked up. "I've made a mistake that I myself have not found a way to deal with." His hands where still on my cheeks and he stroked back and forth, reassuringly.

I was giving all this too much thought, it was almost a complete stranger I was talking to, but why did this seem like such big of a deal? _It should be easier to tell someone I wasn't attached to news like this. But it wasn't, because right now I felt as if I was about to jump off a cliff._

"Edward, I don't think I can do this because…" I paused for a moment, draw in a deep breath and whispered "I'm pregnant."

His face went blank and he dropped his hands in that second. I had no idea why, but somehow his reaction disappointed me.

_What was I waiting? For him to tell me that we could give it a try, that he felt the same attraction I felt for him and he was willing to stick by?_

_We just met today._

_There's nothing between us._

He was confused by what I had said and it took him a little more time than normal to react.

"Bella, listen, I have to get going… I … I don't know… I…" He stammered. One single tear left my eyes.

"It's okay." I said as he walked away. I would never see him again, but there was something else that overpowered any other thought.

_I am having a baby. _I felt like saying it out loud had made everything more real and I was feeling a mixture of emotions that I couldn't control.

I had found out yesterday. I had been feeling strange, but I couldn't identify any concrete symptom. I had dismissed it because it wasn't a constant discomfort. Anyway I decided to set forward my regular doctor's evaluation.

I did regular checkups every year, and this year's were in a couple of weeks. I changed my appointment and when I was there Dr. Ataera asked me the usual questions. When I explained her the reason to forward the appointment his expression changed slightly.

"_What is it exactly that has been bothering you?" She asked in a very doctor-ish way._

"_Well, I get tired and sleepy very often, and I can feel a tingling sensation in my breasts." By this point I knew that my cheeks where in a very uncommon shade of pink. I know I was talking to a professional but it sounded weird anyways. _

"_Bella I would like to make an extra blood test this time ok? I am sure there is nothing wrong, you have nothing to worry about, but we will extract a blood sample right now and you can be back in about three or four hours for the results. I'm sure it will take away the uneasiness you're feeling."_

"_Okay. I mumbled." I really didn't like blood tests, and I felt like such a coward when it all came to needles._

_After that torture device was out of sight and I didn't feel it anymore I opened my eyes which at some point I had closed very tightly._

"_It's done." The doctor smiled at me, knowing my discomfort._

_I walked out and decided to call Alice. We met at for lunch at our favorite restaurant, but I avoided to mention the fact that I was waiting for my blood test results, Alice always jumped into conclusions and in this moment, it wouldn't help at all to the nerves I felt in the pit of my stomach._

_Time flew by with Alice, and talking to her always made me feel better, even if it was about random nonsense. It was nice to have some time alone with my best friend. _

_When I went back for the results the doctor greeted me in a small office. I was surprised that the usually grumpy woman was now smiling at me. Her features where amazingly perfect, her dark tanned skin and the unusual glow that a smile gave to her face made her look beautiful._

_She gestured me to take a seat with her left hand and for the first time I noticed a ring. She was married. I can't believe I have been seeing this woman for years and I knew nothing about her._

"_Well, hello again Miss Swan."_

_I just smiled at her._

"_Congratulations! I have the pleasure to announce you that you are perfectly healthy and about six week pregnant."_

_I gasped and went into shock._

"_Miss Swan? Are you okay? Isabella? Isabella!" _

_I snapped out of it for a second and muttered a "Thanks." _

_I left immediately. I felt so lightheaded and had no idea what had happened. My mind went blank and I couldn't make out any coherent thought._

_All that came to my mind was that night, Alice's birthday. I got drunk and had no recollection of what had happened. I felt hopeless and broken._

"_I'm not ready for something like this" _I thought.

But right now, everything was clearer and it became a reality, almost tangible, I had said the words out loud and I had accepted it. I made a decision I hadn't even registered: _I will deal with this. I will be a mother._

And once again tears clouded my vision, but this time they didn't mean I was in pain or hurting, they meant happiness. I felt some sort of warmth around me and fell asleep with my hands hugging my belly, as I somehow felt that indeed there was something, _someone_ growing up there, inside me.

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	11. Don't you dare!

**Chapter 11: Don't you dare!**

**EPOV**

Numb. That's how I felt, or more like lack of feeling.

I had spent the last five hours thinking, just going through the facts over and over again. Bella had been hurt; she had been hurt by my own lifestyle, by my own techniques, by someone just like me. I couldn't even look at myself in the mirror anymore; I always thought I wasn't hurting anyone, that everyone who came to me was looking for what I was offering. Could I have been more wrong?

I went to bed and tried to shush my mind for a few hours, but sleep didn't come, every thirty minutes I would wake up and pace around the apartment for.

My life up to this point had been senseless and less than ideal, not something I could be proud of. I had fucked up in every way possible and everything was just chaos. I had many things to think about, many mistakes I had to correct, but right now, in this instant, I just wanted to take some time to pause those thoughts and deal with them after a while. I needed someone. I needed the person that would never judge me. The person that was number one of my _Lives I've fucked up _list.

I grabbed my phone and dialed her number. I hoped she was awake already. I knew she was an early riser, but being absent for so long made things a little difficult. _People changes_. On the third ring, she answered.

"Edward honey is that really you?"

"Yes, it's me."

"To what saint do I owe the honor of your phone call?" She asked and I could almost see the smile on her face.

"Real funny you know. But listen I was wondering… Maybe I could… Can I come over?" I asked hoping that she was available.

"Sure baby. Is there something wrong?"

"No." I lied "I just want to see you. I'll be there in half an hour."

"Edward…" She scolded "I don't want you driving around like a maniac!"

"I'm close by! Don't you worry, see you in a few."

"Ok. Be careful, I love you." I love you, words you never know you need to hear, but when you do they make everything better; if only just for a while.

"I love you too mom." I said smiling. Moms always make everything better.

Thirty-five minutes later I was parking by the huge white house in the heel that held so many memories for me and the woman that made her white surroundings look like dirt compared to her purity. As soon as I got out of the car she was walking towards me and enveloping me into a bone-crushing hug.

"I missed you." The woman with the copper-ish hair that clearly resembled mine said smiling and dimples adorned her adorable face.

"I missed you too." I admitted a little ashamed. Not because I missed her, but because ever since I moved close by, I had promised to come and visit more often. Three months had passed and this was the first time I came by.

"Come inside, I made some cookies for later, but I'm sure we can have one or two without anyone noticing."

Esme Cullen, the only woman I knew that could have three badges of cookies ready before 11:00 a.m. I laughed as I voiced the thought.

"Let me tell you, Edward, that things in this family haven't changed and we still keep our traditions, even when a member is missing." She said only half jokingly.

At first I didn't understand what she was saying, but then it hit me, it was the last Saturday of the month, which meant _family dinner_.

"Oh." Was everything I could manage to answer. We had started what became a tradition when I was about six years old. Mom was always around, but we only got to spend some limited time with dad, with his busy life as a doctor and the late shifts and everything. So, one day Alice, my younger sister decided to wait up for him until he got home, way past our bedtime. She was on the top of the staircase when she screamed with her ridiculously super high-pitched voice "Dad! You're finally home! I need to talk to you!" For a four year-old she was so clever.

"Yes sweetheart, what can I do for you?" Dad was always giving her whatever she wanted.

"Don't try to _distraxt_ me." She said pointing her finger at him.

He held his hands up in surrender. "Fine, I won't _dixtraxt_ you, now go on." He motioned with a warm smile.

"No, daddy, not _dixtraxt_! It's _distraxt_!" She said patting his leg as if she knew what she was talking about. I was watching from the top of the stairs now. Then her expression turned furious. "See, you're doing it again!" She stomped her foot on the floor fiercely.

She drew out a long breath before continuing. "Okay daddy I'm just going to say this _ounce_, I am feeling very _reyekted_ by you, you don't spend time home and I have my needs! I _deemand_ you to have at _last_ one day with us! It will be the Daddy and Alice's day! And there is no _negochiation_ about it!" She tried to say in a very professional way.

Our parents were trying very unsuccessfully not to laugh at her little outburst. "Honey, what have you been watching on TV?"

"Nothing _Carlay_." She said in a serious tone and both mom and dad started laughing uncontrollably.

She crossed her hands in front of her chest. "Edward said I could watch it while mom was in the garden!" She said exasperated.

"I should have known that Edward had something to do with this! But overall, I think you're right, what if we call it _the family day _instead?"

"I say its fine." She said as dad scooped her in his arms.

"So what else has Edward allowed you to see without our consent huh?"

Ever since that day, the last Saturday of every month was saved for family, we spent the day together and talked, played, and ate together. When time passed by, our time together decreased and eventually the family day became the family dinner. I hadn't been in one since I left for college all those years ago.

"Edward." Esme's voice brought me back to reality.

"Yeah?" I answered.

"Are you staying for lunch?"

"Yeah, sure I would love to." I would definitively love to see Alice and dad; I hadn't seen them in months.

"Great!" she exclaimed, "now go take a shower and come back soon, everyone should be here in about twenty minutes."

I walked to my old room and memories flooded my mind, the endless times which I spent here, the occasions in which I sneaked out to a party or when I sneaked in with a girl. When I emerged from my room I had a smile on my face.

I went into the living room and was surprised to find Alice in there with my mom. But the surprise wasn't the fact that she was there, but that she wasn't alone. Standing there with her was a person I was both thrilled and disgusted to see. I walked in closer and forced a smile on my face.

I cleared my throat and three pairs of eyes turned towards me. In less than a second I was being strangled by a small pair of arms.

"OH MY GOD EDWARD YOU'RE HERE!" Squealed Alice.

"Alice, honey I can't breathe." She loosened her grip but held me another five minutes or so. Finally she took a step back.

"I just can't believe you're here. How long are you staying? Are you leaving soon? Are you staying for lunch?"

I laughed at her eagerness. "Yes, Ali I'll stay for lunch, and don't worry I'll be around, I promise." I couldn't believe what I was saying, but I really did miss my family.

"Oh. And Edward… meet my boyfriend Jasper." She smiled softly as he took her hand in his.

"Yeah, I know who he is." I said bitterly. Jasper and I used to be close back in college and to be honest that was what scared me the most.

"Edward…" Jasper said cautiously "I swear, I'm different now, and Alice and I are as serious as it can be." He smiled and turned her attention towards her. "We love each other and I'm not that immature guy I used to be." They were both grinning and then and there I knew I had no say in it. When Alice made her mind, there was no chance to make her change.

But they were serious; it was as if they were in their own world when they looked at each other and I couldn't be such a hypocrite because me of all people, knew that people actually changes.

There was a soft knock on the door and it was cautiously opened. "Mom… are you home?" Said a soft voice that sounded so familiar.

_MOM?_

I looked around confused, but the only answer I got was a glare from Alice herself.

"Edward, I'm warning you: Stay. Away. From her." She said in a serious tone.

I just held my hands up in mock surrender.

Just then the most incredible vision blurred everything else. The dark-haired beauty standing by the open door holding a bouquet of beautiful wild flowers in every different color a non-matching combination that made a perfect contrast between every color. Her eyes met mine and rational thoughts left my mind.

"Bella?" I asked softly. And then I felt it; a strong pain in the back of my head. I turned to the source of my inflicted pain and glared at Alice who was scowling.

"Really Edward? … Bella? Oh My God I'm going to kill you!" She said in a hushed voice.

"Alice! It's not at all what you think! I have not done anything to her or with her, now shush!"

She relaxed instantly. "Anyway, don't you dare."

I ignored her comment. As my eyes met hers once again, I already had a resolution… I was going to stand by her, I was going to be there for her, this was my way of paying for what I had done before, and I would do it without second thoughts.

All I had to do now was waiting. Wait to see if she would ever accept me.

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	12. Man Up!

**Chapter 12: Man Up!**

_**EPOV**_

She quickly diverted her gaze and I couldn't help but feel disappointed.

_**What the hell where you waiting for asshole? You left her by herself after she had confessed what seemed like her deepest secret!**_

_Whoaa.. Patty I hadn't heard about you for a while now, where have you been?_

_**Well you asshole, I decided to take some time off thinking that maybe, just maybe you had developed a conscience of your own and my services might not be as needed. But clearly I was wrong! I mean, come on, could you screw even further?**_

_Yeah, yeah, I know… I'm trying to fix it here; I wouldn't mind a little help!_

_**Fine, but just because you admitted you are an asshole.**_

_I did not!_

_**You need help here or not?**_

_Fine._

_**First of all you'll have to apologize and try to make it up.**_

_No shit, you genius! How did you figure?_

_**Focus asshole, she's coming over!**_

_Shit, fuck off then!_

I saw her then, she was smiling softly, but it didn't reach her eyes, she was confused. Everyone stood up and started to greet each other, it was just then that I noticed a tall, curvy blond woman by the side of what could only be described as a giant. He had a very muscular body, curly brown hair and matching brown eyes that where familiar. He was holding a small chubby baby about two months old or less and everyone was cooing at him, apparently he was the new toy in between everyone, even Jasper was tickling him.

"What are you doing here?" I turned to see those deep brown eyes staring at me.

I just smiled and shrugged. "Family diner. And you?"

"Family diner." She responded immediately.

"Oh, well that's interesting." I said.

"Oh, my darling! I see you've met my little girl here!" Esme came by excited.

_Little girl what the fuck?_

"Mo-hum!" Bella whined.

"Oh, come on sweetheart! You know I love to brag about you!"

MOM? I asked myself in confusion.

"Yeah, well you'll see…" Bella started, but Mom cut her off. Shit, I didn't even realize I had said that out loud.

"You should ask your dad about his escapades." Mom said in a serious tone.

Holly Crap, I'm falling for my sister?

Everyone had stopped what they had been doing and turned towards our little scene, no doubt suppressing their laughter. What where they finding so amusing? This was pretty damn serious!

"Family! I'm home!" Exclaimed dad, dramatically swinging the door.

"Hi dad." They all said in unison. He just waved and smirked.

"WHAT THE FUCK CARLISLE!" I said desperately, how could everyone take this so coolly?

"Language young man!" He said before everyone cracked into laughter.

I just glared at him and waited until everyone stopped this show of them.

"Care to explain?" Fury was starting to make its way over.

Esme chuckled and tried to hide it with a cough. "Well, Edward, let me introduce you to my family." She said now mockingly.

"These are Bella and Rosalie, Alice's friends." I now recognized Rosalie; she had been there my last night at Bella's.

"And girls, this is my son Edward." Bella's jaw fell open and Rosalie extended her hand to shake mine.

"It is nice to finally meet the ghost! I mean, the only thing we do around here is hear about you but never meet you in person." Rosalie joked whilst poking Bella's ribs.

Bella shook her head slightly, as if to let go of a thought and also extended her hand towards me. "Nice to see you again Edward." She said softly and all the eyes in the room where directed to me. I felt as if I was on the spotlight.

She also saw this and tried to divert the attention from the topic. "So, yeah, this is my brother Emmett." She pointed towards the giant. "Who is also Rosalie's husband, and the little one you see in his arms is my lovely nephew Emmett Jr."

Emmett nodded and gestured that his hands where busy at the moment. "Nice to meet you Edward; It would be nice to say I've heard a lot about you, but as a matter of fact, I haven't." He said looking disappointed.

I was also disappointed, I mean, they were considered family, but where unaware of my existence? An actual family member?

_**Oh, as if you're ever around, how are they supposed to know about you?**_

_I don't want to hear about it Patty!_

Alice interrupted my internal ramblings. "Oh, come on, how are we supposed to talk about him if it upsets mom to know he's never around?"

I shot mom an apologetic look.

Emmett cleared his throat. "I'm starving, what's for lunch?" That managed to avert the attention.

"Oh God, Emmett, I'm sure you must be exhausted and starving because of so much work with the baby and everything!" Jasper said mockingly

"Oh, yeah, you have no idea! The feeding, the changing, the baths, the crying!" Emmett responded and earned a slap on the back of his head from Rosalie.

"As if you do any of those!" She said angrily.

"I would if you asked me to!"

"Well, I don't trust you with my baby; you might drop him or something."

"Ahem… So, lunch everybody?" Mom started walking into the dining room, effectively ending every discussion.

We sat down at the large table. I had always wondered why we had such a big table if there were only four of us, but mom always shrugged and said she'd always wanted a big family.

Mom and dad sat together, as did Rosalie and Emmet and Jasper and Alice, which left me sitting across the table from Bella. She looked stunning in her black long sleeved dress that hung low on the cleavage, and ended behind the knee, complimented with black stilettos and her hair in bun.

I didn't take my eyes off her through all the evening and caught her stealing glances towards me every once in a while. Everyone was chatting and you could hear a loud buzz of voices as they told stories about how they met and embarrassing tales about how many times they had gotten in trouble. And I envied that, they had shared so much together, even Jasper, being their latest acquisition. It was something I didn't have, I had been so submerged in my whore-ish ways that I didn't have fun memories like theirs, I just had a past that read _lust_ written all over it.

Rosalie and Emmett took their turns to eat/watch the baby; they were so synchronized that you would think they'd been doing that for years.

When lunch was done, we went back into the living room and talked some more, it was interesting to get to know about the girl's relationship. How it had evolved since college and now they owned their own company together. I still couldn't believe it, I had heard about Alice and the girl's company before, but I really didn't know it was that successful.

After a while of turning and turning the issue in my head, I decided to man up and apologize to Bella, so I stood up and asked her to take a walk in the patio with me.

We got there and started walking, but I couldn't manage to get the words out just yet. I was definitively nervous, what if she didn't forgive me?

"Uhm, is there something you would like to talk about?" She asked and blush colored her cheeks pink.

"Yeah, it's that… I just…"

_Just spit it out already!_

"Listen Bella" I took her left hand in both of mine and turned to see into her eyes. "I'm sorry I ran away like that when you told me you where pregnant, I was an idiot and I shouldn't have"

Her cheeks turned into red. "It's no problem; hell, even I would have done that if I could the minute I was given the news." She chuckled.

"So we're cool?" I said grinning like an idiot.

She returned the smile. "Sure, we're cool."

I was dazzled by her, so before I could filter my thoughts, I just blurted it out "Would you go on a date with me?"

She looked surprised. Was I pressing my luck here? Maybe, but it was totally worth it.

"Really?"

"Of course." I tried to keep the smile on my face, as if I didn't mind her considering it.

"Are you sure? I mean you don't mind…" She trailed off rubbing her free hand in her stomach in a warm gesture.

"No, I don't mind." I said squeezing her hand reassuringly.

"Well then I'd be delighted to." She said and took me by surprise when she pressed her lips with mine.

Her hand moved over my arm and further until she reached the back of my neck as we moved our lips in sync, I pulled her closer and braced both of my hands at the small of her back. Her lips where soft and warm against mine and their contact sent fire through all of my body even if it was more like a chaste kiss. I felt as if I couldn't have her as close as I needed, but as a rational thought hit me, I pulled away.

I rested my forehead in hers, and tried to control my erratic breathing while gazing into her eyes. "Wow that was amazing."

"I'm sorry; I didn't mean to be so forward. I just, I don't know what I was thinking."

"Well, you can lose your mind around me any time you want." I said simply. "We should go back inside."

She nodded and smiled. I took her left hand in mine as we walked back.

"Can I just ask you for something?"

"Sure, anything." I nodded.

"Can we just, not say anything about this?"

"About which part?" I asked knowing she was either referring to the pregnancy or the date.

"Both." She said embarrassed.

"Sure, whatever you want. But, may I ask you why?"

"Well, I'm still working on the courage to tell them about the pregnancy, and about the date, well, honestly, they will kill me, or us, actually."

"I understand they would want to kill me, but you?" I asked curiously.

"Well, mainly because ever since I met Alice, she's been all about _If you ever meet my brother, don't you ever EVER get even near him, I'm warning you!_" She said in a comical high pitched voice trying to imitate Alice.

"Why would she say something like that?" I wondered out loud.

"Because of your reputation."

Holy Crap, I'm in deep shit.

Bella must have seen my concerned because she ran a hand along my cheek. "Hey, I'm giving you a chance to change my mind aren't I?"

"Thanks." I murmured and we walked in.

I was surprised to see only mom picking random stuff off, as if cleaning up after the party.

"Hey where's everyone else?" Bella asked mom.

"Hey, what are you still doing here? Everybody left already. Little junior puked on Emmett and they left soon after that, claiming that he had to go change and take the destruction machine before anything else got ruined. And Jasper and Alice decided to leave as well. With the chaos that Emmett was constructing, we all forgot that you two were missing."

"Well, that would have been okay, but I didn't drive myself here tonight." Bella said with a hopeless look on her face. "Emmett and Rosie gave me a ride." She whined.

I just grinned and looked at her. "Well, then I guess I'll give you a ride home."

**Thank God I've improved my grammar at least a little bit. This chapter wasn't as hard as the past ones.**

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**I bet I sound like a broken record by now ;) haha **


	13. Impatience

**Chapter 13: Impatience**

**Song: Higher-Kylie Minogue**

**EPOV**

My mom wasn't thrilled with the idea of me and Bella spending more time together than necessary, yeah, she thought that about a car ride. No wonder why Bella asked me to keep my mouth shut about us, my own family didn't think I was good enough for her.

Great.

Ok, ok. So I was conscious that I might not be the guy she deserved, but I'd try my hardest to be. It might be a selfish thing to do, but I couldn't go against what was happening between us, it felt like we were right for each other and I couldn't deny that.

_Sitting with her beside me in the car I can't help to think about anything but her. As if all my thoughts revolve around her._

We rode in a comfortable silence, in which hearing her even breaths was just enough to fill any emptiness. I laughed at my own cheesy-ness, _holy crap I'm worse than I thought_.

"What?" She asked confused.

"Nothing." I said. What was I supposed to answer?

_Sorry, I was just laughing about myself because we only just met and I feel that I need you more than the air that I breathe? _

Yeah right. Was that really how I felt?

"You know, it's not right to make fun of people." She crossed her arms and pouted, pretending to be mad. She looked so damn adorable.

_Adorable? _Not smoking hot? Not sexy?

Well, more like all of the above, but still the first thought struck me.

"Bella?" I asked nervously. We had stopped in a red light.

She just turned and looked at me through her long lashes. Oh god! This girl has made me reinvent every fantasy I had ever thought of.

"Yeah?" She asked after a few seconds I hadn't said anything.

The light turned green and I continued driving, trying not to think too hard about how I almost screwed up. What was I going to say? I have no idea, I just felt the strange urge to say something, being around her made me light headed.

She didn't question me about what had just happened, she rested her head in the window and slowly drifted into a peaceful sleep, she must have been exhausted.

_Now that I think about it, I know absolutely nothing about pregnancy, is she supposed to be more tired than usual? What about the morning sickness, in what point of the pregnancy do they pop out? Is she supposed to continue eating the same or are there restrictions in the food area? When will she start to get big?_

Oh god I was such an ignorant! The only thing I knew for sure was that I couldn't take her out for drinks! What the fuck was I going to do? I needed to know things about it if I planned on staying around.

Wow, I just sounded like an asshole! _If I plan on staying around?_ Even if I wanted to, I couldn't leave Bella's side now.

With so much in my mind, the trip back felt like two minutes instead of forty minutes long. Soon I was pulling up in front of Bella's. She was still fast asleep, so I got out and carefully opened her door, making sure to not let her fall, I held her in place with one arm while I opened the door wider with my other hand. Gently I pulled her to me and lifted her bridal style, her head found the crook of my neck, nuzzling slightly.

The small touch felt amazing, new and right.

When I reached her door I had a little bit of a problem I hadn't thought about, _locks need keys._

"Bella…" I shook her gently, but she didn't even move; a deep sleeper. "Bella, wake up for a little bit."

"Five more minutes." She mumbled sleepily, I chuckled.

"Bella, I need the keys baby."

"Hmmm… purse baby" She said, I felt her smile against my neck.

With the limited mobility, I tried to search her purse without letting her fall, it took me a while but I finally found them.

I walked without hesitation through the door I knew too well and laid her on her bed. I took her shoes off and placed them by the side of her bed and then I pulled the covers on top of her. With a final kiss on her forehead and a mumbled good night I turned to leave. It felt wrong leaving her side, but I couldn't imagine what her reaction would be if I stayed. So I just opted to not press my luck, I would see her soon, she did after all agree to go out on a date with me.

I went home, which was just about five minutes away from hers, and even when I was ready for bed I couldn't erase the silly smile off my face.

When I woke up the next morning, not even the sun had risen, but my mind was already set off, planning on ways or excuses to see Bella. She had taken ninety-nine percent of my thoughts. It all freaked me out a little, but imagining her smile and her smoldering gaze made doubts go away.

I thought about showing up with breakfast, or knock on her door and claim that I was on the neighborhood or even confessing that I missed her already; cheesy, I know, but it was how I felt.

Finally I settled in a resolution that I hoped, unlike the other options, it would not make me look like a stalker or desperate, or a desperate stalker.

Luckily last night I had the brilliant idea of ringing my phone from hers and saved my number for her. I grabbed my phone and dialed, it rang and rang but there was no answer. I was about to hang up, defeated when I heard it click.

The only response I got was an "It's too damn early!" exclaimed by groggy voice.

I chuckled. "It's nine a.m., aren't you supposed to be awake by now sleeping beauty?"

"Edward! What? How did you? I mean… Hello?" She said trying to regain coherence. I could almost picture her sitting up in her bed and rubbing her eyes.

"Hi." So much for coherence, and it wasn't me who'd just woken up.

"Hey." She said back. Jeeze, I was pathetic.

"So, I stole your phone number yesterday."

"Yeah I figured." She said confused.

"I was wondering, are you free tonight?"

"What for?" she asked while I heard her yawning

"Ouch, you're killing my buzz!" I joked lightly. "You promised me a date!"

"Oh that, yeah sure I'd love to." I could hear the smile in her voice.

"Ok, then it's a date."

"It's a date"

I didn't want to hang up, but I was afraid of looking too clingy and the conversation was a bit strained already. But what could I expect, I was a stranger practically and it wasn't as if she would open her heart to me over a phone conversation.

_**Huh, and you worry about sounding clingy NOW? Dude you're lost!**_

_Shut up Patty! Jesus! Don't you happen to have a life?_

_**Are you kidding me? Torturing you is so much more fun!**_

_Argh! Just let me have this conversation! Get the fuck out of my conscious mind! _

"Is seven ok?" I was having a hard time trying to concentrate in this conversation rather that the other.

"Yeah, seven will be just fine"

"See you tonight then, I'll come pick you up." I said to Bella_._

"Ok."

I took a few seconds before hanging up, trying to prolong the moment, but it was probably gone now.

I spent the whole day planning the date, as if I had nothing better to do, but huh, work was too boring and tomorrow I'd go back. It wasn't as if they need my presence, surely the vice president must be happy with all the shitload of stuff to do.

I called to about five of the best restaurants trying to get in the line of reservations, which was getting me annoyed, how could it be possible that they were booked all the way this month? I had to settle for a good, smaller restaurant. It might be just as good, but I wanted the best for this date, after all I had to make a good impression if I want her to go out with me again.

After that I was going to take her to a small private park in the middle of the city, where only people from the residential area could access under specific hours.

_It is amazing how a few contacts and a little blackmail can open those gates of the beautiful park._

When it was six thirty already, I was pacing like crazy, my nerves where getting the best of me. I tried to pull them away, but small insecurities where always nagging the back of my thoughts.

_**Oh god, you sound like such a teenage girl!**_Said Patty in his usual annoying voice.

_Shut up!_ -was all I could respond. I grabbed my car keys and left at about six forty five.

Five minutes before seven I was already outside Bella's apartment. I took my time in getting out and walking into the building. I hesitantly knocked, and waited.

After what seemed an eternity, I saw the girl that invaded my dreams standing there, looking stunning in a soft pink dress and she looked stunning. But there was something wrong, the usual creamy skin and slight blush that always adorned her face where missing. She was a little pale and her eyes looked a little puffy.

"Edward, I'm sorry, I'm not feeling so well" she said in a shaky voice.

My heart constricted with her words, I was so looking forward for tonight.


	14. Stay

**Chapter 14: Stay**

_**BPOV**_

To say I was excited about my date with Edward was an understatement; I was practically floating while looking for the perfect outfit for tonight. There was this stupid feeling of butterflies in my stomach that I hadn´t felt since I was a teenager. He was bringing out that side of me. It was kind of scary, knowing about him and his antics, but however I could feel myself getting a little attached to him by the second.

I decided to just go with the flow, besides, what else could happen? He would knock me up and leave? Someone already filled that one dude!

It was still early, about five while I decided I needed a snack, well, I think the little seed that´s growing inside me asked for it, and I couldn´t deny him or her. _That´s what I keep telling myself._

I swear I must have been gaining about five pounds a day with the tons of food I consumed, but at least I had an excuse: _I´m having a baby. _It still sounds so weird to say that, I was starting to like the idea, but still didn't feel confident enough to tell everyone.

I went over to the refrigerator and found exactly what I was craving for, pickles and mustard.

_Huh. Weird much?_

I took a spoon and served the pickles in a plate, squeezing a little bit of mustard on top. I took the first bite and it tasted so good that I went for another one. Fifteen minutes later I had had about six or seven of those pieces of heaven, and I wanted some more, but I stopped myself. I would grab another one as soon as I got ready; it was getting late, so I went to take a shower and get dressed. I decided to wear a soft pink, spaghetti strapped dress that reached just below the knee and black sparkly flats.

I checked myself in the mirror and approved the option; I applied eyeliner and strawberry lip gloss. As soon as I was done I checked the time: I had at least twenty minutes till Edward arrived, so I made my way to the kitchen in a hunt for the pickles. They had felt so delicious before, that my mouth was already salivating just at the thought,_ is it normal to feel these cravings so soon in the pregnancy?_ Right now I didn't care; I just wanted to reach the refrigerator.

I saw the pickles but there was something wrong, just the sight of them made my stomach churn. I dismissed the thought and uncapped the jar, my nostrils filled with the acrid smell and I couldn't hold it in anymore, I ran towards the bathroom and emptied all contents of my stomach. I was kneeled in front of the toilet, so I took a couple of minutes to pull myself together.

_Deep Breaths. Breathe. Breathe. Ring… _wait… Ring?

The doorbell!

I suddenly remembered my date with Edward, oh great! He was probably out there looking as gorgeous as always and I was a total mess! I stood up, rinsed my mouth and composed my dress as much as I could and walked to the door. I opened it slowly, almost reluctantly; I didn't want him to see me like this.

I stood there for a few seconds before saying anything. His face was so happy when he saw me, but soon it turned into concern, ugh I must have looked horrible.

"Edward, I'm sorry, I'm not feeling so well" I said and my voice was a little shaky. I guess I was getting a little emotional for ruining whatever wonderful plans he had for today.

He took a step towards me and cupped my cheek. "Bella, what's wrong?"

He was so cute being worried about me, but his question only brought back a recent memory: _Pickles, vomit, mean horrible Pickles. _Just the thought of it made me want to puke again.

"Listen Edward, I'll be ok. Let's leave it for another day, I'll call you." I said as I put my hand against my mouth, as if it was going to stop what was coming.

I threw the door closed and ran to the bathroom for the second time today, the only thing different was that this time, a few seconds after I kneeled in front of the toilet, I felt someone pull my hair back and stroke my lower back gently. I rested my forehead against the cold tile wall.

He sat down on the floor and pulled me closer to him, cradling me. My head rested on his chest and slowly, I composed myself. He was still stroking my back soothingly when he started humming so low, I don't even know if I was hearing right.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"Taking care of my girl" He answered as if it was an everyday thing.

"But didn't I close the door?"

"Oh! You did that, too bad you forgot I had taken a step closer, so the door actually hit my nose. I think it might be broken." He laughed, but I could sense a little truth in his voice.

"Edward, if there's blood then step back or I'll faint."

"Don't worry, it was a joke, there's no blood it hit softly. But how are you really?"

I stood up and he followed. "I'm fine" I said, but he wasn't too convinced, I was such a bad liar and I even stumbled a bit.

"Bullshit." He said as he took me in his arms.

"Edward, just put me down, I can walk just fine by myself."

He snorted. "You're so stubborn! Just let me take you to your bed, you need some rest."

"Give me a minute of privacy ok." I said and motioned for him to go out.

"Fine, but I'll be right by the door."

Knowing I wasn't wining this one, when I reopened the door I didn't lose my time protesting when he picked me up again, I sighed defeated. "Fine, but take me to the couch. I want to watch some TV, I'm not sleepy anyway."

He took me to the couch and settled me down carefully, like he thought I would break or something. His face was inches apart from mine as he put me down.

"Oh my God!" I exclaimed as I took a look at his nose. It wasn't broken, but it sure wasn't a soft blow either! It was red and getting a little swollen.

"What?" he said concerned.

"Your nose!" I said as I inspected it carefully.

"Don't worry, it doesn't even hurt." He said nonchalantly, so I tested and touched it gently and he winced.

"Liar." I said. "Go to the kitchen and bring some ice and a cloth. NOW." I wasn't giving him an option. I turned around and turned on the TV, ignoring his protests.

"Fine" he said as he walked into the kitchen. I couldn't help but check out his butt. His firm, rounded, fine butt… well not just fine… way better.

He came back and I took the ice and wrapped it in the cloth. "Sit." I instructed. I tried reaching up to him from where I was sitting but it was just uncomfortable, so I moved to the other end of the couch and pulled his head towards my lap. I gently put the ice in his nose while watching some random movie, but at some point I doze off.

I woke up to a pair of strong arms taking me to bed, a little confused by the sleep; it took me a while to decipher what was going on, but Edward gently put me down and tugged me in. When he made an attempt to leave I grabbed him by his hand and pulled him down.

"Hey, come here Mr. Rudolf" I said sleepily.

He chuckled. "I'm taking off now, ok, sleep well."

"Noo." I whined.

"You need to rest, you're clearly tired."

"Then come and rest with me." I pouted.

"I'll sleep at the couch then." He tried to reason with me.

"There's plenty of space here."

"Uhm." I didn't let him give any excuses because I was suddenly pulling him down with a little more force.

"Bella." He scolded.

I turned to ignore his protests and wrapped his arms around myself, he felt so warm and comfy that I seriously needed to hire him as my own personal pillow. He, trying to be as much of a gentleman as I let him, stayed over the covers but after a few minutes I felt his arms tighten around me protectively.

I felt the rays of sun leaking from the curtains, ugh! I wish the sun could delay its rising so I could enjoy a little more of that peaceful sleep with that delicious and tortuous tickle on my stomach, which felt amazing. Where was that coming from?

I opened one of my eyes first, not wanting to fully wake. There were two arms encircling me one on the middle of my stomach and the other one a little lower. The hand lying on top of my stomach was drawing imaginary patterns on it. I stirred and turned around with a smile on my face, I could get used to this.

"Hey." I said trying to keep my eyes open, the light was giving me a hard time, it was too bright!

"Good morning." He said and placed a gentle kiss on my cheek. "Good morning baby." He said and patted my stomach lovingly. Could he be more perfect?

I smiled even wider and placed a kiss on his lips, moving slowly and keeping it simple. I did not want to introduce him to my morning breath. I let go quickly, but it was enough to make him smile that beautiful crooked smile.

"I'll be back in a minute." I said and headed to the bathroom. Thankfully I was not feeling any morning sickness, but my bladder was about to explode.

He nodded and leaned back against the pillow.

I did my thing, brushed my teeth and washed my face as fast as I could. I pulled my hair in a messy ponytail and went out to look for the Greek god adorning my bed, but he was nowhere to be seen. I walked out of the bedroom and searched.

"Edward!" I whisper-yelled.

"Edward!" I said a little higher.

"In the kitchen!" He said.

"What are you doing?" I asked as I walked closer.

"I was thinking about breakfast, but Bella…" he paused "Why was there a broken bottle of pickles in the kitchen floor."

Oh my God. I think I blushed crimson red.

"I'll clean that up now." I said walking a little faster, but when I reached the kitchen he was kneeling and cleaning the last bit of my mess.

"I took care of that already." He said smiling and getting on his feet.

"You didn't have to." I said blushing even deeper.

"It was nothing" He shrugged.

"Hey, Thank you." I said and pulled him close to me.

"For what?" He asked, knowing I meant something else.

"For the best Non-date Date I've ever been to."

He laughed. "Aren't you silly?" He said.

I didn't respond, just leaned in for a kiss, which went slow and gentle just as the previous one in the bedroom.

"Now, what do you feel like for breakfast?" He asked.

I sat down on one of the barstools. "Capt'n Crunch." I said with a huge smile on my face.

"Well, that's an easy one I must say, even though I had you for more like a Lucky Charms kind of girl." He laughed. "So where's the box?" He asked. I continued to smile.

"Kind of, like in the small market across the street." I said trying to look as convincing as possible.

He chuckled "Ok, but you owe me." He said grabbing his coat.

"I'll be right here with your reward."

"And may I ask what will this reward consist of?" He said walking back to me.

"A big, no, huge, thank you kiss."

"Well, I better hurry up then." He said and ran away as if a coyote was chasing him.

_He better hurry up then, because I was also craving that._

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	15. Grizzly Girl

**Chapter 15: Grizzly Girl**

_**EPOV**_

Never in my life had I spent the night with a girl and felt this fucking awesome the next morning even if there wasn't even sex involved. Breakfast with Bella was fucking awesome, well after looking for that stupid cereal of course, but her wishes where my command. Anything she wanted, she could take.

"So what are we doing this morning?" I asked casually while she took the dishes to the dishwasher.

She turned around and smiled brightly, but it soon faded. "Work." She said without much enthusiasm.

Holy shit… "Me too." I said omitting the curse; honestly, I didn't even remember I had a job.

"It sucks." She said pouting and I couldn't resist her. I walked towards her and placed a chaste kiss on her lips.

"How about we meet for lunch then? Besides, you still owe me a date." I said trying my hardest to get her to agree. I don't know why, but I felt like in any moment she would realize I wasn't worth it and close the door at my face. And that shit hurt, now I that I could say it from experience; I swear my nose was still a little sore.

"Okay, I'll come pick you up, what time do you have free?"

"Hmm... Probably around one-ish."

"So text me the address, floor and stuff and I'll be there." I winked.

"Well someone seems a little too willing." She joked.

"You see Miss Swan, I happen to have a thing for gorgeous, stunning brunettes, so I'll let that one pass, but you're on warning." I teased back.

She laughed and I joined her, it was so simple to act with this child personality around her. Everything was so light and she was so carefree that every moment felt just like heaven. But a glance at the clock told me that I had to get off the cloud and get to hell, also known as Volturi and Associates. I reluctantly said goodbye stealing another kiss and headed to what I call inferno.

Yeah sure they don't need me or anything, and the business ran just fine but they insisted on seeing my face there every once in a while making me sporadically attend a few meetings here and then or sit in an office where all I actually did was check my e-mail and bang one of the secretaries.

And today was going to be just that kind of day… except for the banging of secretaries of course.

I crossed the building doors as discretely as possible, not wanting to draw too much attention; chicks in this place tended to get a little… over-flirtatious to say the least. They didn't get that rubbing their breasts against my back when they were supposed to be bringing important documents, was far from subtle. I shuddered from the thought, the only girl occupying the vast majority of my thoughts and had me counting the minutes till lunch was Bella.

When I woke up today by her side, I was beyond freaked out, my hands where holding her to my chest, hugging her to me and never in my life had I spent the whole night with a girl. I felt as if I was going to start hyperventilating, I had no idea what I was doing. I needed to get out and I didn't even know why.

But then she whispered my name and eased all my worries, I felt safe with her.

I realized that I had to grow a pair and stop being the commitment repellent I had always been, not because I would get old and lonely, but because of the warm body beside me, the most beautiful girl that captured my attention and who, indeed, I wanted to keep.

I was not jumping into things either; I was going to take baby steps.

The door to my office opened after a soft knock and I noticed Irina standing there with a yellow envelope in her hands. Oh! How great, _Irina… _she was a beautiful redhead with an amazing body and no self esteem or scruples for that matter.

She closed the door behind her and rested her back against the wall, looking at me seductively. "Edward, this envelope came for you a while ago, it's from Aro." She said as she pushed herself off the wall and walked slowly towards the desk. She placed it over the surface and lingered a while longer than necessary, showing off her cleavage.

"Thank you Irina, you may leave now." I said curtly.

"You know Edward, I've been feeling a little… _lonely, I think I need somebody._" she said while she leaned in the desk showing off her silicone. She was a beautiful girl, but she was not _the girl._ So I decided to have a little fun, considering I was a little bored in this place.

"Really?" I asked with a smirk.

"Oh yeah, and we've definitely missed you this couple of days, you've never been missing for that long." She pouted. Huh! That pout isn't even half as good as Bella's.

"I've been a little … busy." I responded. No need to explain my Human-to-dog-then-human-again transformation.

"Well it's been a little depressing without you here to lighten the mood." She said leaning a little lower and exposing more of her cleavage, if that was actually possible. I could see all the way to her belly button.

I glanced at the clock and stood up circling the desk and standing by her side. "So listen, if you continue to feel depressed and sinking in that hole…" I dug out my wallet and looked specifically for a business card I knew I kept there. "… You know what to do." I said handing her the piece of paper and walking out of the office smoothly, it was almost lunch time now.

"Okay." She replied in a breathy tone. I waved and exited through the door, keeping a prudent distance because I really wanted to hear her response.

"WHAT. THE. FUCK?" She said loudly and stormed out; she went directly to sit at her desk with her face red with anger.

I suppose she had the right to be, considering she might have thought I was giving her my number for a booty call or something; while in reality the business card said:

_Jasper Hale_

_Psychiatrist _

You got to admit, that shit was hilarious and that fucker Jasper clearly owes me; I was still mad that he'd been dating my sister and kept it a secret from me, we where fucking friends and stuff! I was half hoping that Irina decided to call anyways.

Bella had texted me where to pick her up, so once I was in front of the building I texted her telling I had arrived.

She texted me back.

**Hey sorry, kinda running late with this one, would u mind to come in and wait a min or 2? –B**

**Sure no prob. –E**

**Thanx ur an angel –B**

Her last test made me laugh; I'd been called a lot in my life, but an angel, not even from my mother.

I made it to the fifth floor, where I knew Bella's office was. Everything about this place was breathtaking, the light colors of the walls, the contrasting darker colors of the rugs and the beautiful chandeliers giving the room an exquisite touch. Of course, this was the building of an interior design business, it was bound to be this impressive, but I had never imagined Bella was _this_ good at what she did for a living. She definitely followed her dream.

I sat at the waiting room, not minding to disturb who I think was her secretary. She hadn't even noticed me there; I was lost in thought watching the harmony everything in this place created when…

"Edward, is that you?" Said a stupidly high-pitched voice I would recognize anywhere.

_**Tanya**_ said patty.

_Oh fuck…_

_**Indeed, man you're fucked.**_

_Come on Patty; help me get out of this one! What should I do?_

_**Not my problem**_he shrugged and started laughing his ass off.

_If you're not going to be any help, I might as well shut you out._

_**You can't do that**_He said concerned.

_Watch me. _I smirked as I sent him to the back of my brain, down to the darkness or whatever; I just wanted to get rid of that useless parasite.

_Asshole! Fucking son of a B… _was the last I heard from him, successfully ignoring him. I was getting good with this "self control" shit.

Now back to reality…

"Yeah, that's me." I answered the blonde bimbo.

"How have you been? What brings you here? How can I help you?" She said too eagerly.

"I'm fine, and I'll just sit here and wait for a friend, thanks Tanya." Even the sound of her name coming from my mouth made me nauseous.

Someone cleared their throat behind me and I turned around to find Bella glaring at Tanya. She was definitely jealous, and that was fucking hot.

She turned towards me, her expression murderous. "Hey Edward, I see you've met Tanya, my secretary."

"Yeah, we've met before." I hated this, but I couldn't lie to her; I had to know all this would come and haunt me one day.

"Tanya." She addressed her with seriously.

"Yes Miss Swan?" She asked her voice polite.

"I need a mango." She told her, I was about to laugh thinking this was some kind of joke, but her facial expression told everyone not to question her.

"What?" Said Tanya a little surprised.

"A. Man. Go." She repeated syllable by syllable as if talking to a mentally ill.

"Yeah, I heard but where am I supposed to find one?" She asked still dumbfounded.

"The hell if I know. I'll be back in an hour." She said and pulled me to the elevator.

_Note to self: don't ever make this woman angry._

We went in the car and I started it. "Where to?" I asked cautiously.

"Home." She said and crossed her arms.

"I thought we were going for lunch." I stated calmly.

"I'm not hungry anymore, please drive me home." She said through her gritted teeth.

"Fine." I mumbled; clearly there was something going on and I would rather ask her at her place, once she had calmed down a little. She was no stupid and I knew she connected the puzzle pieces and figured how Tanya fitted into the equation.

Ten minutes later I was opening her car door for her and walking her to her apartment. She opened the door and was about to shut the door on my face again, not even looking back. Luckily for me, I put my hand to stop it this time.

"Won't you invite me in?" I asked smirking, she was adorable when mad.

"Fine." She said as she left the door opened and sat on the couch. I closed the door and sat with her.

"Bella is there something wrong?" I dared to ask.

She shook her head.

"Beellaa." I whined and put my hand in her chin so she would face me. "Come on, tell me." I said as I dropped my hand in her thigh.

"I don't know Edward; I just think this is too much. What will happen with us? You know this is a very complicated situation. I'm scared not to know what will happen next, what will you do tomorrow when you finally realize that this mess you're getting into is not worth it? I'm having a baby Edward, a stranger's baby, while I'm getting a little too attached to you, and when this reaches a point in which it all falls apart I don't know if I'll be able to handle it. I don't know if I could handle this once I'm in too deep, so I need you to make this choice now before it's too late. If you're not sure of what you want, I would rather have you out that door right now instead of doing so once I've gotten used to you."

Wow, that was a lot to take in but I understood exactly what she was saying. She was scared maybe just as much as I was about this new 'relationship' between us.

I sat there a while too long thinking about what she said, every cell of my body was telling me to get the hell out of there while I had the chance to, but I was stuck in place, I couldn't move until I felt something warm fall on my hand. I looked down and found a small drop rolling down from the top of my hand, I glanced towards Bella, but her hair was making a curtain that didn't allow me to see her face. I reached out and pulled her hair out of the way just in time to watch a second tear roll down her face.

Before I knew I was dragging her closer until she was in my lap, hugging her as if my life depended on it. For a while not a word came out of my mouth, until I heard her sobbing, she clearly was taking my lack of response as a negative answer and I couldn't take it to see her cry.

I kissed the top of her head, then her forehead, cheeks, nose and mouth. "I'm here, I'm not going anywhere." I said whilst gently stroking her back.

She turned her attention to me, her eyes searching mine to detect any doubts on my part. Surprisingly, I had none, I was sure I wanted to try this out with her.

"And what will happen when I no longer look like this? When I'm as big and as irritable as a grizzly bear? When I'm no competition to blonde bombshell Tanya?" She asked with a small voice, hiding her face in the crook of my neck.

"Is that what brought all this on? Tanya?" I asked chuckling a little amused. I would never compare her to Tanya; she was so much more than her.

She swatted my arm and her face flushed. She wiped away the remaining of the tears. "Hey don't laugh, it's a serious question!" She said but smiled recognizing her own silliness.

"I'd never compare you to her, of course she is pretty" At this comment she made a hurt face. "Let me finish Bella." I warned her. "I was saying, she is pretty, but have you gotten to know her? I've only been around her twice and just the sound of her voice can make me want to run in the opposite direction, she's the worst mistake of my life." I paused for a while.

"I guess you're right. I think I hired the wrong person to answer my phone." She wrinkled her nose in disgust.

I laughed at her joke, but continued to make my point. "See, she's nothing compared to you. The way you talk and captivate my whole attention, or how your kisses make me forget about the whole world surrounding us, even how _you_ is everything I can think about since we met, so yeah, I'd rather spend my time with my grizzly girl." I rubbed her nose with mine and kissed her softly for a few seconds before pulling away.

To my surprise she wasn't having any of that, so she pulled me back against her lips as she shifted in her position to straddle my lap, which surprised the hell out of me. Her hands traveled from my chest all the way through my shoulders and neck until she reached my hair, in which she knead her fingers, gently scraping my scalp while our tongues explored each other.

Our kiss grew more heated by the second and soon all the air around us felt like a warm bubble. When I tried to sneak my hands down her shirt, she didn't stop me, which I interpreted as a green light. I dragged my hands up agonizingly slow, making lazy circles in her stomach as they climbed a little higher until…

_Oh My God! I have Bella's boobs in my hands! And oh my God! I just said boobs in my head and not tits! Am I developing a vagina or something?_

Bella moaned softly and as much as I wanted to continue I had no idea if this was getting too much too soon, so I froze in place.

"Edward." Bella murmured against my lips.

"Hmmm?" Was the only thing I was capable of saying in the state of daze I was.

"Don't stop." She said as she rubbed against me, making an obvious not too little situation down in my pants a little more prominent, _so fuck me if I stop now._

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	16. Pants Off!

**Hey, sorry for the delay… Life's been a little bitch, but when is it not? Haha**

**I know I don't actually have a schedule for posting, but even for me (the careless bitch) this was like way too long! :S ooops! Hahaha**

**But I promise I'll make it up for you ;)**

Bella´s breasts felt so good in my hands, soft and delicate.

But there was too much in our way, so I grabbed the hem of her shirt and started lifting it at a slow pace, taking my time to explore every inch of skin I started discovering.

Bella, as impatient as she had been, took no shit and pulled the shirt off and out of the way in like a second.

I laid a few soft kisses in her mouth, savoring the moment. "Hey, are you sure?" I had to ask, I had to make sure.

"Positive." She whispered as she kissed me forcefully.

My hands started traveling around her still flat stomach, her back and ended once again caressing her breasts through the thin fabric of the bra she was wearing. With my right hand fumbled until I found the way to unclasp it. Her tits where freed from it and I swear I went breathless at the sight of them. Big but not too big, _but definitively big enough, _round and perky, "Beautiful" I whispered as I reached out once more and grabbed a handful of them in my hands, teasing her pink nipples until they pebbled.

I kissed her mouth for a few minutes, silencing her moans, thrusting my tongue against hers and then slowly started descending trailing wet kisses along her jaw, neck, and shoulders and finally took her nipples into my mouth, licking and making them impossibly harder. _Which reminded me of something else getting harder…_

As if sensing my train of thought, her hands started unbuckling my belt, going straight to the point. She unbuttoned my pants and pushed them as low as our position allowed and then helped me out of my shirt as well. She suddenly stood up and I started panicking, _what the hell had I done wrong? _I was about to ask when I saw her taking her pants of almost desperately, I sat back and enjoyed the show.

"So, if this is what I get from you being jealous, I think I might want to make you jealous everyday. Maybe multiple times a day."

"Edward." she said, walking towards me.

"Mhm" Was the only thing that came out. My coherence shut down when I saw her fully naked.

"Shut up and get naked." She smirked and motioned for me to do so, I was happy to oblige. Only problem was that as I was trying to do so, I failed to notice that my shoes where still on while I tried to pull my pants out and, _uhm, yeah I kinda ended up kissing the floor._

"Crap, Shit, Motherfucker!" I cursed as I was trying to stand up without falling flat on my ass.

I heard Bella snort, and once I glanced over to where she was, I noticed she was trying _and failing _to stifle her laugh. As soon as she saw the look on my face she exploded in giggles, which grew into a full forced laugh.

"Oh yeah, continue laughing… But get ready to face the consequences!" I said while simultaneously fighting with my pants.

"No!" She squealed, and took advantage of the few seconds and tried to run away.

As soon as I could, I started chasing after her.

"Oh yeah darlin' you've been a very bad, bad girl… you know what bad girls need? They need to be punished!" I joked.

"No! Edward, Don´t!" She squealed as I got a few feet closer to her. She headed to the bedroom, _good choice._

I finally reached her just in time to trip into the bed and started tickling her, she was squirming under me, begging for me to stop, but I tortured her for a few seconds before actually stopping, to see her boobs bouncing that way was simply addictive.

We stood there watching each other as we caught our breaths and then once again resumed what we had started.

My mouth once again found her boobs, but my hands started trailing down south. I played for a while with the elastic band of her silky panties and then decided to reach out with one of my fingers_ to test the waters. _

"Oh My God, Bella you´re so wet." I said, my voice muffled because I was nuzzling her chest.

"For you baby, for you." She whispered a little breathless and whimpered at my touch.

_I swear I almost come undone._

Her hands where doing their own exploration and you would think she was decided to touch and explore every single inch of skin in my body. Once she reached the waistband of my boxers, there was no hesitation by her when she pulled them down in a swift move, letting my dick spring to life out of them.

I think I might have ripped the last piece of underwear she was wearing.

"Hmm… yes!..." She moaned as she crashed her lips into mine.

She took my cock in her hands and started caressing, slowly, torturing me, and pure pleasure cursed through my veins. After a few strokes I knew I wouldn´t last long, so I cut straight to the chase.

I hovered over her, placing small kisses here and there and finally positioned myself in her entrance and looked at her in the eye just to make sure we were doing the right thing.

She smiled and moved her hips a little effectively making the tip of my cock slide into her. We both moaned in pleasure.

_Holy Fucking Amazing._

I felt like I was in paradise.

I was about to let lose completely, to let my instinct take me when I remembered something basic.

I pulled back completely and started pulling at my hair in frustration.

"Holy Shit! How can I be so stupid?" I muttered to myself.

Bella, concerned, approached me slowly, caressing my face gently. "Hey." She said. I refused to look into her eyes.

"Edward, look at me." She demanded. I obliged.

"Tell me what's wrong." She pleaded.

"I'm so stupid." I confessed. "I don't… I don't have a condom." I said disappointed and embarrassed for not remembering something so basic.

Bella laughed and once again I diverted my eyes in embarrassment. It was such an amateur slip.

"Edward, I don't think I could get any more pregnant that I already am." Said Bella in a mocking tone.

And yes, I felt even more stupid now.

She didn't let me dwell on it though, because in a flash, she was already straddling my lap and stroking my cock.

"It's big." She said amused.

I couldn't even speak from the sensations cursing through my body once again. My fingers started playing with her clit, making her moan in pleasure.

"I need you inside me _now" _She demanded as she once again aligned our bodies so that I was just mere millimeters from being inside her.

"And I´d be happy to oblige." I answered as she lowered herself and my cock slid smoothly inside her and _fucking hell, _it felt amazing she felt so tight around me.

We fit perfectly, like two pieces of a puzzle.

She kissed me frantically, "Edward, this is" _… _"Amazing." She said groaning from pleasure.

"I know." I said. And I think those where the last words I was able to form, because I went brain dead.

I was thrusting and she met me halfway, which was an indescribable feeling combined with the kisses and small bites she was giving to my left shoulder. I moved faster and faster, needing more with each passing second. There was nothing in the world compared to moving in and out of Bella´s tight pussy.

I was trying unsuccessfully to prolong the moment; it was too damn hard; so I decided to take matters in my own hands, literally.

Still moving rhythmically in and out of her, I pressed my fingers to her clit, drawing circles that made her pant my name in that sexy voice full of desire, then she gasped and her breathing quickened, so I knew I'd hit the right spot.

She was about to come and _thank God_ because I couldn't prolong it any longer. But if I thought Bella felt amazing before, I had no idea of what was coming; her walls tightening around me made me come right in that moment, exploding inside her with no control left over my body.

Just a second after, she also gave in to her orgasm, panting and groaning; I struggled to keep my eyes open, to see her this beautiful; but when she moaned my name, I lost it and gave in completely, my eyes closing of their own accord.

After the haze, we lay in bed, Bella's head rested in my chest. "That was…" she started saying but didn't continue.

"I know…" I said sleepily, because I understood what she was trying to say… there were no words to describe it.

A few seconds later she fell asleep, completely spent, just as I was. I watched her sleep until I couldn't contain my own tiredness and also succumbed to sleep thinking about what had just happened and what was to come. I couldn't wait to touch her like that again, to taste her next time, to explore her body thoroughly…

**Was it worth the wait? Haha**

**Pleeease tell me your thoughts on this… What do you think? :)**

**Oh and follow me on twitter… lilyd09 and.. uhm.. be patient cuz I'm kinda new at it.. feel free to call me an ignorant.. I know I am.. haha  
**


	17. Grape Juice

**:D **

**Here we are again ;) **

**Okay, so a few things before:**

**I don't think the story will be having any more Bella Pov… I kinda fucked the story with that. **

**I guess if you guys feel like reading a chapter from Bella's you could ask and I'd do an outtake or something.**

**And…. Uhm… I guess that's it… haha nothing else on my mind. I'll probably remember something else about ten minutes after I'd published this… so whatev**

* * *

When I woke up the sun was still shining bright above us. Bella was still fast asleep with her arm resting across my chest and using my shoulder as her pillow. I rested my chin on top of her head and inhaled deeply; she smelled delicious, very tropical and sweet. Home-y. I sighed as I took her in; she looked absolutely beautiful, and was practically glowing.

We where dancing around some pretty huge shit, but I couldn't care about it now; I'd think about all possible outcomes later. Right now we would enjoy whatever this was between us.

Slowly, as to not wake her up, I slid her body back to rest on top of the pillows. She stirred a little and almost woke up, but after a few seconds she stopped fighting it and succumbed to unconsciousness once again.

I put on my pants and went hunting to the kitchen; I was fucking starving. I decided I'd make some kind of lunch/dinner for me and Bella, considering we'd skipped lunch and it was almost five now; I bet she'd also be hungry when she woke up.

I found her kitchen completely packed; it was like a chef's wet dream come true. I found every single kind of pasta I knew and some that I didn't. Deciding to keep it simple and not mess up with dinner, I went for penne in Salsa Alfredo.

I boiled the water, poured the pasta and cooked it, while I tried to remember Esme's recipe for the sauce which I was trying to make in the other pan.

_Onion_

_Pepper_

_Coriander_

_Salt_

_Shit! I had to add the butter first!_

_Butter_

_Butter!_

_Phew. At least I had the chance to do it before it burnt._

_Saved_

_Ok, we where at salt… what else?_

_It's got to look white._

_What the fuck is missing?_

_Fuck_

_Fuck_

_Do I have time to call Esme before everything is screwed up?_

I tried to remember where the fuck I'd left my phone when I heard a soft giggle from behind me.

"I thought you where asleep."

"I really had to pee. And then I heard some banging in my kitchen." She smiled.

I chuckled. She looked really cute with her hair in a mess and a baby blue sheet draped around her body. She was still naked underneath.

"You look confused." Bella stated softly, almost half asleep.

"I was trying to cook some food. I thought I knew how, but now I know I'm missing some very important ingredient that I can't seem to remember." I smiled sheepishly

"Okay." She said and rubbed her eyes. "If my guesses are right, what you are missing is the cream, it's in the fridge." She paused and yawned. "Oh. And you might want to add a teeny bit of milk."

"Thanks." I grinned. "Now go back to bed."

"I can help." She said, trying to fight her eyelids from closing. She was definitively still sleepy.

"No way. Go rest. I'm almost done here." She could use a couple more minutes.

"Fine." She huffed and went back.

Fifteen minutes later I was serving the food in plates and looking for drinks. Red wine would be amazing, but it was a 'definitively no' in Bella's condition; so I found some grape juice that should be just fine, _I mean, tomato, tamato, whatever, should work out._

The meal actually wasn't half bad, and I mentally gave me a plus five. I hoped Bella liked it.

I placed everything in the night stand when I realized Bella had gone back to sleep. I leaned in closer and whispered in her ear "Bella, baby. Wake up." I seriously couldn't comprehend how she could be so deep asleep in just a few minutes.

She turned her head in the opposite direction. I shook her shoulder a little bit. "Bella. Beeella. Wake up; time to eat."

She swatted my hand away and buried her head in the pillow. "Fi'more'mins." She mumbled unintelligibly.

Okay I had to laugh at that one. She was just too adorable for her own good. And totally irresistible. I slid next to her propped on one elbow peppering her face with tiny kisses. I kissed her closed eyelids, her cheeks, her forehead, and lips, whispering her to wake up.

"Fine. Fine." She murmured against my lips, her voice a little hoarse, and her eyes fluttering open; she looked like she'd been asleep for hours and not just twenty minutes or so.

In an instant and without any warning, her arms where around me, pulling me closer and kissing me deeply. I kissed her back eagerly; I could never get used to her lips against mine, her tongue taunting mine, I swear I'd never grow bored of it. After a while we stopped to catch our breaths, my forehead against her, inhaling her delicious scent, our breaths mingling together.

Then, taking me by surprise, Bella placed open mouthed, hot kisses along my jaw, slowly descending through my neck, I groaned at how incredible that felt; at how my muscles clenched with want for her. When she touched me like that I lost every rational thought.

Everything was perfect until my stomach decided to ruin the mood and growled loudly from hunger.

"Shit. I think we should eat first." I said reluctantly.

Bella giggled and placed one last kiss right in the spot where my shoulder and neck connected. "Okay then, the predator needs food."

"Are you calling me a hungry predator?" I mockingly signaled myself with my hands.

"No silly." She said as she turned to her side so we where chest to chest, and then pressed herself against me. "That would be me." She said in a low, seductive voice, her eyes turning a shade darker and there was hunger reflected in them; although not the kind of hunger my stomach was claiming.

Her hand extended and for a second I thought she was going to continue with her assault, but I was disappointed to see that she reached right behind me, pulled away from me to a sitting position and straightened herself. The sheets fell and I caught sight of that perfect set of perky tits.

My fun was cut short when I watched as she put on my shirt, buttoning it at the top. _That was what she reached out for._

Laughing, Bella reached over and made a joke of closing my mouth and cleaning some drool, well maybe my mouth had actually been hanging open, but I had a perfect excuse.

"Hey, I was admiring the view." I complained, once my brain started to work once again.

She shrugged and pulled the sleeves up. "It was your suggestion that we should eat first."

"Well I'm an idiot. I think we could totally skip lunch. No big deal."

She laughed and playfully slapped my arm.

"That smells very good, though." She pointed at the food behind me in the night stand.

"Well, appearances can be deceiving." I said trying to get the attention back to us. To the bed. To what was underneath that shirt.

"Edward. Just hurry so we can do a replay of our previous activities."

Like I was going to object.

I put the food between us in the bed and started eating as fast as I could.

"Edward. Edward." Said Bella trying to catch my attention.

"Yes?" I asked between a mouthful. Though it sounded more like 'yeth'

"Chew your food. That can't be healthy." She pointed with an amused look on her face.

"Fine." I said reluctantly, as she laughed at my attitude.

"What is this?" she asked eyeing the juice.

"I dunno. Some grape juice I found there. I thought it could be some kind of placebo, you know, cos we can't be drinking wine in your condition."

A shy smile graced her lips. "We?"

"Yeah." I said a little self conscious. I knew I didn't have to do it, but it was unfair for me to be drinking when she couldn't.

"Okay." She responded, the smile never leaving her face. "This is pretty good, where did you learn to cook?" she asked after a few minutes of comfortable silence.

"Oh. You'll see, Esme always wanted me to learn how to cook a decent meal. Me, being the 'macho' that I was back during the day, always refused. So she told me that if that was the case, she wouldn't force me to do so, but every once in a while she called me and asked me to help with dinner. She thinks I never noticed what she was trying to do when she gave little tips of the 'cooking world', but I knew her intentions." I laughed. "Besides, it was kind of nice trying some of the food she was cooking when she turned to check on something else." I winked.

"Smooth, Cullen." She chuckled.

It was really comforting the way we could talk to each other, conversation flowed so easily between us. I was so into our conversation that I didn't think when her phone rang from behind me, I just reached for it and answered.

"Hello?" I said, still smiling at her teasing me for stealing food while Esme was cooking.

"Hello?" A very familiar voice said from the other side of the line.

Bella's face had morphed into one of pure panic, and that's when I realized what a big fuck up I'd made.

* * *

**:O**

**Yeah Edward, so much for keeping a secret... **

**hahaha**

**So, who's at the phone? **

**Take a guess...**


	18. Hide and seek

**So... sorry blah blah and all that shit... I'll be honest and say life sucks. God knows I need a little breakQ! :( Uggghh! I regret the day I changed my mind and decided I didn't want to become a princess... whatever... follow my sour mood at twitter: lilyd09**

* * *

"Hello?" A very familiar voice said from the other side of the line.

Bella's face had morphed into one of pure panic, and that's when I realized what a big fuck up I'd made.

I quickly handed her the phone, mouthing 'Sorry' over and over. I could have easily screwed everything up.

Bella just waved her hand in the air dismissively, not letting me dwell on it. She was a little distracted, not really hearing, so it was funny when she said "What Mango?"

I bet Tanya was fuming.

"Oh. Okay, listen Tanya, I won't be able to go back to the office today; you know what? Eat it. My treat. Okay, bye. See you at work." She disconnected her phone immediately.

"Shit that was close." She sighed and rubbed her temple.

"I'm sorry, I swear I'm really really sorry. I wasn't thinking."

Bella stopped my ranting placing a finger over my lips.

"Shh. It's okay, I was just worried, that could've been anyone and it would've been really difficult to explain a very nosy Alice why her brother was answering my phone."

"You're right, it won't happen again. I won't be so careless." I promised, but honestly I felt a little hurt hiding our relationship.

I honestly understood her worries, and not knowing how to explain about the baby, but I was selfish and I wanted everyone to know she was mine.

She pulled me by my arm, bringing me closer to her.

"Let's just forget about it, ok?" She said kissing me chastely.

"Okay." I agreed deepening the kiss. I placed my hands on her face and closed every bit of distance between us.

"What do you think about a round two?" I asked against her lips.

She shrugged. "I wouldn't oppose."

I smirked. "Really?"

She pushed my shoulder so that I was lying in the bed and she was on top of me. "Absolutely."

Her body touched mine in the most delicious ways, and even though we'd been in the same situation just hours ago, it felt even better than what my mind remembered. Her hot center was against my erection, which only made me harder. I crashed my lips against hers taking in every moan and every whimper of pleasure she let out as I ghosted my fingers against every centimeter of her sensitive skin, teasing her until she could take no more.

"Edward. I need. You. NOW."She panted in my ear, biting my earlobe softly. And fuck me if it wasn't the hottest fucking thing.

I switched our positions as fast as I could, and almost tearing her clothes off with a needy desperation.

The shirt fell by the door as I threw it across the room and I took one of her breasts in my mouth, drawing circles around her nipple with my tongue; her hips where rocking against me, looking for any kind of friction and her eyes where dark with lust, probably matching mine.

Her hands rapidly found the button in my pants and wasting no time she pulled them off as far as they went. I tried to get up so I could take them off, but Bella wasn't having any of that; when she said NOW, she really meant now and I had no doubt of that as I watched her eagerly.

Once my cock was inside her for the second time today, I honestly felt complete. There was nothing in the world that could match the connection we had, mentally and physically. I rocked in and out, with much more patience than before, taking my time going almost entirely out, just to go back inside her with swift moves.

I was close to my release and I could tell that so was she when her hands, which where in my hair, came down to rest in my biceps, gripping them tightly, almost painfully. "Ugh. Edw… I… coming" She mumbled incoherently once I felt her walls closing around me.

I continued moving inside her as I watched her beautiful face contort into one of intense pleasure. Not even seconds after that, I felt my own release making me shake with the intensity.

We lay on Bella's bed for a while and I swear I couldn't have moved from my spot beside her even if I wanted to.

Bella snuggled against my chest, letting out a content sigh.

"Are you tired?" I asked after a moment.

"Only a bit. But a good kind of tired." She laughed.

"The best king of tired." I agreed.

"Let's watch some TV"

I nodded. I would do anything to keep her company for a while longer.

She got up from the bed and walked to her drawers, throwing the remote control my way, which landed on top of the bed a few inches from me.

"Don't tell me you're putting your clothes on." I complained "You look amazing in your birthday suit."

She just shook her head and laughed at my comment. "Well thank you, I'm going to take that as a compliment."

"It sure is a compliment" I said, but she ignored my comments and threw a pair of pink boy shorts on and a cute monkey's tank top.

I turned the TV on while she went to look for pop corn from the kitchen. I was channel-surfing when Bella came back and settled by my side, sitting against the headboard.

"Stop there!" She said as I flickered through some channels.

I stopped.

"Go back, go back." She demanded and I did what she asked.

She made me stop at some random episode of The Big Bang Theory. I groaned and banged my head against the headboard.

"What?" She asked seeing my reaction.

"I just don't like that show."

"You've got to be kidding me." She said incredulously. "This is like the funniest show ever."

"Nope, not at all. It's a stupid tv show."

"You're just sour because you're not smart enough to understand the show." She teased.

"Smart?" I snorted. "There's nothing but stupidity in that show, I mean for real, a show about nerds? Who would want to watch that?"

"For your information, their ratings are super huge." This time she even showed me her tongue. So childish. "You're probably just jealous that I have a bigger crush on Sheldon than on you."

"Pfft. You'd bang that? He's like the gayest man on earth."

"Come on! He's got the brains, and he isn't gay!"

"You do realize that the "brains" part is just acting"

"Whatever. Let's just shut our pretty mouths and watch this, ok?" She said crossing her arms and pouting.

"You know, there's something even better I could do with that pretty little mouth of yours." I said trying to lighten the mood and stealing a peck on her lips.

"Hmm. No thanks." She said slightly turning away.

Well fuck me if I made her mad at me already for making fun of a stupid series.

"Hey baby what's wrong?"

"Nothing. Everything. You know. Pregnancy. Hormones make me find some things disgusting. And in this moment it's you." She glared at me a little.

So this was how we where playing, huh?

"Okay. Fine I apologize for criticizing your favorite TV show and for being so jealous of Sheldon and insulting him and his sexuality. Now if that is really how you feel with me, then we've got to listen to your hormones. Maybe I should just leave." I said standing up to look for my clothes.

"Wait." She said in a small voice.

I turned towards her and her eyes where all watery. Shit, I was such an asshole.

"Hey. Hey. I'm sorry. So sorry." I said as I hugged her tightly. "I wasn't being serious."

This is why I sucked at relationships, I never knew the right things to say or do, and with the little-close-to-none experience that I had, I could only make situations worse.

"No, You're right. I was the asshole. It was stupid and shitty to say those kinds of things and specially fighting over the TV series." She said drying her eyes.

Needless to say, after that, we got into a very heated 'I'm sorry I'm such an asshole' make-out session, until…

We where interrupted by a loud banging in the door.

"Shit, shit, shit!" Exclaimed Bella as she pulled on some sweats.

I was also trying to get my clothes on. Okay, yes I said trying, because I had to re-do the buttons on my shirt more than once because I miss-buttoned it. What could I say? Bella was too distracting.

"Hurry!"

"I am hurrying"

"Bella! Get the Doowr. I'm heer!"

The shit was about to hit the fan...

"Shit, Edward you've got to hide!" Said Bella as soon as she heard my dear little sister's voice from behind the door.

Me, being as experienced at this kind of stuff as I am... Well, I'm not gonna lie... I started running franticly not actually knowing what to do.

"Edward, what the hell are you doing? It's Alice, you can't hide in the kitchen, that's the first place she visits."

So, awesome I almost had another encounter with a door when I turned around so fast. I went to the bathroom, cause that's what I've seen fugitives in movies do...

"You can't hide in the bathroom either. What if all she came for was to use my bathroom?" She whisper/yelled.

"Okay!"

So, yeah I ended up doing what any hormone ridden teenage boy about the get caught would do... I hid in the closet.

I only realized what a stupid idea that had been until I heard Bella opening the door and greeting Alice.

I mean, am I stupid?

I'm considering that maybe I am because there is no way I can hide from ALICE in a closet! This things are full of clothes and shoes for God's sake! What was I thinking?

I was beating myself for my own stupidity when I heard Alice speak. "You know Bella, guys are so stupid. Seriously, they are like sooo overweighted!"

"You mean overrated?"

"Yeah, yeah same shit you know like stupid stupid Jaspwer. I swear I hate him!" I almost laughed... Apparently Alice was a funny drunk. Who would have known?

"Okay baby you need to sit down a little. I'll bring you some water okay?"

"m'kay... You know... Jasper also drinked water... that stupid asshore..."

After a few seconds I heard steps coming closer, I couldn't possibly hope it could be Bella coming, it was definitively Alice because the steps came to a stop right in front of the closet. I should have known the closet was the first place she wouldn't resist.

The door started opening and I braced myself for her fury. She would definitively hate me after this, because to her Bella deserved so much better than me. And maybe she did, but I was willing to fight for her.

"Alice! Here you are!" Bella's voice sounded a little desperate. "Have you seen my new lamp?"

"Nowe..."

"It's right here, but I need you to aprove it, you know, to see if it matches the room and all."

"Yeeeii" Alice bounced and clapped.

Bella turned her around and turned the lamp on while she signaled behind Alice's back to sneak out.

I could feel my heart practically in my throat as I made my way to the door, where I paused and waved goodbye.

Alice, being Alice, hadn't stopped talking but fortunately her attention was focused on how bright the light was...

"Seriously Bella, this light is sooo bright and ssoo white... you know what else is so white?"

"Let me guess.. Jasper?" Bella answered, trying to hold in her laughter.

I don't know what Jasper could have possibly done, but I can tell he's in a lot trouble.

Alice thought about her answer for a second. "Hmmm... Maybe but I meant his teeth... have you seen them? I think he bleaches them, they are too bright, too white."

"Come on Ali, they're not that white..." She laughd a little this time.

"Yes they are, and it's disgusting... almost as disgusting as Jacob Black... Did you know he's in town?" My little sister asked, but the question hung in the air, making the whole environment thick with suspense... but as I closed the door behind me, the only answer from Bella was silence. _silence._

_Who the fuck is Jacob Black?_

* * *

_**uh-huh...**_

_**You can insult me for stopping there via twitter: Lilyd09**_

**_;)_**

**_... oooOooooOoo... I almost forgot! If you check out the blog, I've posted some of the outfits!... :P _******


	19. Don't Judge a Book by its Cover

**I'm back! :P **

**Oops… took me long enough huh? **

I swear I just went back to being a hormonal teenager. Don't blame me though, Bella was the reason why I could barely concentrate in any other thought that didn´t involve her; or her lips; or her body; or her touches and caresses; even her words. I was bewitched by everything about her. She could tell me she just wanted to talk and that would have been enough.

But right in this second it wasn't thoughts about Bella that filled my mind, no; there was something else that was eating me alive.

Who the fuck is Jacob fucking Black?

I even googled the guy, but there was an incredible amount of guys with that same name. Even a goddamn rapper who was having an exclusive presentation at a club called The Lions. I mean, who the fuck would go to see the guy? Even the fucking name of the club was gay. Who would name a club The Lions? And why the fuck was I so nervous about finding out about that dude?

"_Focus Edward, you should probably be doing your job instead. Just get the guy off your mind." _I told myself. Only that myself was a little difficult to shut the fuck up while bickering inside my head.

I mean, Alice says a lot of random stuff even sober, why should I be trying to give any sense to the words she says drunk? Which lead me to my next interrogative, why the fuck was my baby sister drunk in the first place?

Of course it was a lot of fun, but she was complaining about Jasper, what had that little fucker done to her? I'd kill the motherfucker. I had a lot of questions and so little answers. The only one who could help me was Alice, but how could I get the information I needed without raising any suspicions?

I didn't have to wait too long though, because in the next seconds I spent lost in thought my phone started ringing. The name ALICE was on display. Fucking psychic. Great! Act natural. Act natural. Act natural.

I pressed the green button. "Hello Alice dear. What did you do last night?" And I'm stupid! So much for natural! I just threw myself to the lion's den.

"Oh. You know. I… The same as any other day. I like, hung out and stuff. SHOPPING!" she said a little too guiltily. "I went shopping as usual. It's my nature Edward, you should know that."

I had to bite my lip to contain the laughter from escaping; my little know-it-all sister was nervous about being drunk. Thank God that took out any chance for her to be suspicious about ME.

"Oh. Uhm, yeah, you can´t spend a day away from shops huh?" I tried to play along.

"No, not at all."

I couldn´t think about anything else that would make this conversation a little less awkward… So my stupid brain decided it was ok to blurt any random thought "So, you and Jasper huh?"

Aaaand… Silence. Awesome.

It took Alice about three seconds to reply, which in Alice dimension was an eternity. "Oh, yeah. Me and Jasper. Us. The both."

"Great." Christ! Was this conversation going somewhere? Because it was fucking lame! "So, is there a specific reason why you called or you just wanted to know about your awesome brother?" O.k. that was more likely to sound like me, natural, my cocky natural responses…

"Oh, no I just wanted to know if you were still in town, you know 'cuz you tend to disappear once you've been through all the female's population rooms from a town to be relocated to a "fresh meat" zone." Ouch, and there's my snarky little sis. With a hangover, bitchier than necessary.

"Ow, Ali, you sound hung-over." I played with her.

"Shut up asshole. So are you in town?" It stung a little to be doubted by my own family, but they didn't know about the little changes that have taken over me the past few weeks, so I couldn't exactly blame them.

"Yes Ali. I told you I plan on being here indefinitely."

"Awww. You sound like Julia Roberts in that movie. You know the one in which she falls in love with an English guy."

Is it a typical sister thing? Or girl thing? Assuming that you will know what they're talking about giving you exactly no clue about it. "Julia Roberts has a shit-ton of movies." I rolled my eyes. "At least tell me the title of the movie. And I bet it´s just a very gay thing to say, so I'll just ignore you."

"Don't you roll your eyes at me!" Goddamned psychic! "And you DO know the movie. I was watching it once when you walked in and said some lame joke about Hugh Grant. Or maybe you confused him with Hugh Heffner or something…"

Knowing Alice would never shut up giving me useless clues about it I just faked I remembered it. "Yeah, it's such a chick movie… What's your point exactly? I have some work to do."

In reality I was just trying to kill time, or trying to take my mind off Jacob Black; which isn't working because I already remembered the asshole again.

"So, speaking of Jasper…"

"Ali, that was like ages ago…" We weren't talking about him anymore. I should have just avoided the subject. Now I'm sure she's about to subject _me _to a girl talk. I just know how my sister's mind works.

"Have you seen him since the last time you guys saw each other? You guys are like friends."

"No I haven't. Bye I gotta get back to work."

"That's great." She totally ignored the "I have to work" part. "Since we're not talking to him anymore. See, we broke up, so everyone has to be on _my _side."

"Alice this isn't junior high anymore." She interrupted me.

"Edward! He totally deserves it! I mean I was trying on clothes to meet HIS parents, trying to find the perfect outfit when he totally cut me off to talk on his cell phone! I mean Helloo! And when I asked who was on the phone, his clever remark is: _no one. _Well then I'll just let NO ONE FUCKING FUCK HIM, and fucking meet his parents!"

Oookay. "Fine, so you called to make sure I don't talk to Jasper? Sometimes you are sooo mature for your age." I joked.

And she hung up with a final "fuck you"

Like I said, really mature.

I'm sure she's just being over-dramatic. Besides, aren't Jasper's parents the same as Rosalie's? She has sure met them already but is doing the "Alice thing to do" and making a huge deal out of it.

Years and years of manipulation from her have made me figure out and predict some of her moves. I now feel sorry for Jasper. He's actually not a bad guy, pretty much the opposite, always caring and all gay and shit; I bet he even lets Alice manipulate him into watching chick flicks.

So yeah, I might have overreacted a bit. He's been a good buddy. Supportive enough, good friend and hell, he might even be capable of getting my meddling sister out of my way for a while.

This reminds me of Bella… well it shouldn't surprise you, everything reminds me of her.

So I call her. And she answers. Immediately.

"I was just thinking about you." She says and I can hear the smile on her face. Which is so stupid, and sappy, but she's definitely smiling.

"Yeah. Me too. I was wondering… Do you have any plans this Friday?" Because I haven't figured out who this character Jacob Black is, but to hell if he thinks I'm going to stand by and watch him snatch my girl from me.

"What did you have in mind?"

"You know you still owe me a date?" I put all my charm into this, feeling a bit nervous, 'cause what if she rejects me?

"How to forget? This incredibly hot guy wants to take me on a date; it's taking a lot of space in my brain quite frankly." It was so good to know that she had been thinking about me too. "Plus the sex is amazing."

Okay I'm such a guy, so I'm so grinning from ear to ear.

I cleared my mind before it got me into trouble for wandering off.

"So, I'll pick you up at seven?"

"Sounds perfect to me. Shit I got Alice on the other line; got to go. See you later!"

The rest of the day went like a blur, I was on cloud nine. Gosh! I was becoming such a girl; I wondered what she'd wear, how awesome she'd look, would she smile her gorgeous smile for me when I arrived? And last but not least, would I be getting lucky tonight again?

What? She started it. Once she said the sex was amazing I couldn't think about anything else.

Okay, fine. I'd be thinking about it even if she didn't, but how hot was hearing your girl saying those words? I'll tell you: Pretty H.O.T

When I got home I took a quick shower and changed into jeans and a button shirt, a casual, but still decent look.

I put on some cologne and ran back to the garage for my car. I swear, you give me a basket and a red cap and I'd sure look like little Red Riding Hood jumping towards her grandma.

Ooookay… terrible analogy, moving on now…

I was kind of nervous while I was standing out of Bella's door, you see… this door and I, have been through a lot… Ahh, cut the crap, I'm scared that this time, it will actually break my nose. So I knock, and take one step back. Better safe than sorry.

"I'm coming!" I heard Bella say and when the door opened I was met with the most gorgeous girl ever.

Of course I'm talking about Bella!

She was wearing a beige dress that went mid-thigh; it matched her skin tone and clung perfectly showing just enough to leave more to the imagination. Her purse matched her red heels and her lips were also red.

Delectable.

I cleared my throat "Shall we, my lady?"

"Lead the way, kind sir." She giggled.

"You look gorgeous." I whispered to her ear, while I gave her tiny pecks until I reached her mouth and gave her one last chaste kiss.

"Thanks." She blushed while I opened the car door for her.

"So, where are we going?" Bella asked curiously.

"To a small restaurant I've seen a couple of times. It looks decent and it's picked my interest; I think you'll like it." I smiled "It's name is "El Faro"; we'll be there in about five minutes. I hope you don't mind; it's not big and classy…"

"Don't worry, I'm sure it will be perfect."

I hoped so; I didn't want to mess this up.

The restaurant had a nice tropical theme; you'd see wooden floors and tables and walls painted in sandy tones. I requested a table in the garden, so we will be having dinner by the moonlight. Crap, I have a romantic side, who would have known?

"Wow, Edward, this is so beautiful!" She exclaimed in awe.

"Not as beautiful as you." I made her blush.

"I must admit that you exceeded expectations with so short notice." She smiled picking on a napkin.

"Hey." I grabbed her hand. Because I might not be _that _perceptive, but I knew she was feeling uneasy. "What's wrong? We can leave if you don't like it."

"No! No, it's not that. It's just that I might be a little dittle teeny tiny nervous." She averted her gaze.

"Hey." I said softly, waiting for her eyes to meet mine again. "Everything's fine. Let's just relax and have a nice time. There's nothing to worry about. If someone should be worried, that should be me; I'm sure my sister has already ditched all the dirt she has on me." I laughed, trying to lighten the mood.

"You're right." She gave me her heartbreaking smile. "And don't worry about the dirt; let's just say that I don't judge a book by its cover." She winked.

And _that _ladies and gentleman, is why I love this woman…

HOLY FUCKING CRAP!

I didn't mean that, did I?

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

Calm down. Deep breaths. You are overreacting. You just meant that you care deeply for her! That's it. No over thinking! You are on a date with her, don't look creepy.

I'll deal with this later.

I smiled at her, but I'm sure it looked like I had a stroke or something.

Luckily, someone interrupted my "freak the fuck out" moment.

"Isabella?" A tall man with dark skin and steroid-muscles said.

"Jacob." Bella said with a sad smile.

Okay, maybe not so luckily after all. They definitely share a past... Was I Hitler on my past life?

Thank you God for all this help you're giving me! Hear the sarcasm? Oh yeah…

**Ook! Jacob's here! **

**I promise I'll have a new chapter for next week! Pinky swear! **

**So… I've finally accepted the fact that I'm only human and can't do everything by myself… soooo…. Please help me! Would one of you, lovely persons be so kind and help me by being my pre-reader or sort of like my beta? Please?**

**It would be awesome… **

**Besides, as you might have figured out, English is not my first language and sometimes several words give me a hard time… those little fuckers.**

**Anyway… if not… I'll be near… making a lot of grammar mistakes and taking metaphors literally… that's me…**

**Whatever. Fuck it. **

**Love ya kids! See you next time!**

**Oooo are you following me on twitter? (It's Lilyd09) I'll post the link to Bella's outfit. (Couldn't find one for Edward. Boys are so difficult to play dress-up with.)**


	20. El Faro

**Sorry, I'd kinda fucked up one or two little details, so it was totally my fault if you checked and there was no real new chapter posted... oops.  
**

**Here I am! As I promised! :D **

**I deserve an applause for it ;) **

"Wow, it's a surprise to find you here." The steroid asshole said.

"Yep. It's been a long time." She smiled but it didn't reach her eyes.

Fuck I had to do something. This was clearly upsetting her.

I not-so-subtly cleared my throat; they both glanced my way.

"Oh! Sorry, Jacob this is my…" She had a confused expression on her face, as if she didn't know how to finish that phrase. How did I want her to end it? Friend? Boyfriend? Acquaintance? Whatever the fuck.

"Edward." I said and extended my hand to shake his. _Edward; it doesn't matter how we label this. I'm her Edward._

"Nice to meet you." He said with his tone a bit clipped.

Thank freaking God; the waiter arrived asking if we were ready to order.

_Jacob_ got the hint.

"Sorry I'm interrupting. I'll see you guys around, I was just leaving." He waved awkwardly and started walking away.

"Could you give us another minute?" I asked the waiter, who politely nodded.

"You okay?" I asked Bella. "You seem a little uncomfortable."

She shook her head. "Yeah. No. I'm fine. It's just that I was surprised to see Jacob here. I've known him since forever; we used to play with mud cakes." She laughed a little. "But back to us. Since this is our first date, tell me about you Edward. What are your hobbies, dreams and ambitions in life?" This time her smile was genuine.

When the waiter came back, this time we had made up our minds. Bella ordered the chicken in sweet and sour sauce and I ordered lobster.

I smiled back; it was contagious. "Well, miss Swan…" I paused "Can I call you Bella?"

"Of course you can Mr. Cullen." She giggled.

"Oh. Please, call me Edward."

"Oh my God! You sounded like your father the first time I met him!" She laughed harder. "Please, call me Carlisle." She imitated his voice; not so good I may add.

"That's unsettling; my girl comparing me to my dad on our first date." I shuddered.

"Oh, so I'm your girl now?" She threw a napkin at me. "It sounds nice" her face flushed when she admitted so. "Hey! You should feel proud of yourself; I've had a crush on Carlisle for years now."

I made a gagging sound "Please drop the Carlisle subject. I'm willing to forget you even mentioned crushing on my dad. Just don't mention it again, my ears wouldn't stand that."

"Fine Mr. Cullen." She mocked me.

"So, about my hobbies and shit…" I changed the subject. "I work at Volturi Records; I'm kind of the co-founder. I was always interested in music, since my fifth birthday, when I convinced my dad to buy me a piano. I took lessons for years, but I always exceeded everyone's expectations; I was better that any other kid my age, so it was no surprise that when I graduated from high school I still had my eyes on music. I got a music degree. I play piano, guitar, violin and I even got an offer to record my own album." I can't believe people expected me to sing. "I guess that wasn't my thing. It wasn't until a few years ago that I decided that I wanted to help others be noticed; like people with a lot of talent. I wanted to create opportunities for them."

"Wow. That's awesome, so your job is practically listening around and waiting to hear someone wonderful?" She joked.

"Actually, people normally send their demo and I listen to it. If its good enough, I search for an opportunity to listen them perform live and then offer them a deal." In summary. "But yeah, it has happened once or twice that I've heard someone outstanding and I have a different approach."

"You love your job." It wasn't a question.

"I do. It's like I've found my reason for living. As lame as that may sound."

"Don't say that. It's all kinds of awesome that you get to have your dream job AND help others find theirs."

"Yeah, I guess that if you put it like that, I have a dream life. I got the job, the looks and the girl." I winked at her and again we went back to being playful.

"And don't forget your humble-ness."

"Of course. The rest, you already know; I have an annoying sister and my parents love you as a daughter. I don't think there's much about them that I can tell you that you don't already know. Now, about you…" I trailed off.

"Basic info: I'm from Forks, Washington; born and raised. I have a big brother, Emmet, who you've already met…" I shuddered at the thought, yeah, the hulk… I'd have to win him over eventually. "My parents divorced when I was little. Emmet went to live with my mom and I stayed with dad. Then my mom started living this nomad, adventurous, and free life, and after a while Emmet stayed over our grandparent's "temporarily", which then turned into permanent."

"I visited in the summer and so did Emmet, so we never saw each other for more than a couple of days as we spent our lives in different states." She paused and thought for a few seconds. I guess she was trying to summarize everything else.

"That must have been tough." I commented

"Uhm. Not much; dad is great, we got along perfectly and I always kept contact with my mom. She was only a phone call away, so I would call her when I had boy trouble or anything I couldn't trust my dad with. I guess it was different, but it wasn't bad, Charlie had always been wise and mature; he gave the best advice. The only thing I regret is not being able to spend more time around Emmet. But we've made up for lost time now." She said with a smile.

"How did you end up being friends with my sister? She's a force of nature, you are so different."

"We got along pretty well since the beginning, I guess we relied on each other, we might not be alike, but we our differences have brought us together. Team work and all that. Along with Rosalie, we manage to complete each other; we combine our strengths and help each other."

The passion with which she spoke about herself and her friends was mesmerizing and I found myself fantasizing about her talking about me like that. I wanted to be the one to make her smile while she talked about me like that one day. A day in which she'd say I completed her…

And I knew that what I felt for her was more than caring about her. I would not run away, or chicken out, because _this_ between us felt _right. _Whatever it was.

We spent the rest of the night talking about nonsense, about everything and nothing, while we ate. We discussed favorite flower, favorite color, and favorite place in the world…

And she surprised me with every answer, because they all had a special meaning behind it.

When I asked her why her favorite flower was lily, she said that they reminded her of her mother, the last time she remembered being a family. She said that her mom was wearing an apron in which she'd painted (very horribly) two enormous lilies; she was probably baking because she remembered watching her mom check on the oven. Bella said she must have been about four years old, but she remembers as if it was yesterday. She memorized the bright smile on her face and the barely-there wrinkles around her eyes.

Her favorite place in the world would be the lake where she used to go fishing with her dad. According to her, it was the quietest place in the world, not many people went there and secretly she loved that in the water there were never any distractions; she felt her dad was only hers when they were out there. Undivided attention, even if it felt selfish.

As for color… "Green." She said.

"Interesting choice, does it remind you of something?" I asked with genuine curiosity.

"You're not secretly a psychiatrist trying to analyze my answers to then declare me crazy and take me to a mental institution are you?"

We both laughed, because it was the kind of nonsense that comes with the moment and you don't really expect.

"I assure you I'm not. Are you avoiding my question?"

"Maybe."

"I won't judge. I swear. It could be fuchsia and I wouldn't care."

"Hey! What's wrong with it?" She accused.

"Absolutely nothing; it's just a typical girl answer."

Bella glared playfully at me. "It's green." She finally answered. "It reminds me of home, the forests that surround it and the wilderness that makes it special an uncommon."

She stared into my eyes and it was as if she was trying to give me a secret message. I stared back, trying to comprehend what else was about green. Her brown eyes never broke contact with my green ones.

_Green. My eyes are green._

My heart stopped beating for a millisecond, as corny as it sounds. She smiled and I kissed her, with passion, in a room full of people. Fuck if I care.

"Let's go home." I said as I asked for the check.

We were all smiles and horny stares while we rode back home. Her hand was in mine the whole time.

"Wait. I need a minute." She said when we got into her apartment. (Mayyybe, kissing and groping since we got out of the car.)

"Make it quick." I said with one last peck.

I closed and locked the door and was walking towards her bedroom when I heard her screaming, probably from the bathroom.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! EDWARD COME FAST! THERE IS A DICK IN MY BATHROOM!"

Uhm. WHAT THE FUCK?

I ran towards the chaos and sure, it was in the bathroom. Bella was by the door and doing some weird chick-only little jumps while batting her hands in the air.

What is it? I asked as I peeked through the door. 'Cause there was no way in hell that I'd heard right.

Bella pointed towards the sink and then I saw it…

A mother-fucking cockroach.

"Bella, it's just a…"

"JUST KILL IT ALREADY!" She interrupted me.

"What was it that you called it?" I asked a bit amused by her display.

"It's a long story! Come on Edward; please get rid of that monster!"

I walked over and hit it with a shoe.

"Are you insane? Those are Coach and brand new!" Bella said in desperation.

"Hey, thanks to them the "monster" is dead already." I joked. Apparently it wasn't funny because I got a death glare.

I reached for her hand and pulled her closer until I hugged her to me. I kissed the top of her head, then her forehead and slowly descended until I reached her lips. She smiled a little against my mouth and I knew I'd melted her.

"I believe you owe me a story about dicks." I wiggled my eyebrows suggestively.

Bella swatted my chest. "It's a stupid story. It happened freshmen year on college. Rose somehow convinced us to try marihuana…"

"Wow! Alice included? I don't think I even want to imagine Alice on drugs."

"Yes. It was pretty stupid because we were in our dorm room and had a huge test next morning. We had been told that if you smoked a little pot, you would find more capacity in your brain to complete a task such as studying."

"I guess it didn't go like that." I said.

"Of course not. We ended up talking and giggling and discussing the extremes to which a crab would go in order to masturbate…"

I laughed. Loudly. Three girls discussing crab's sexual life; I could imagine them.

"What does it have to do with cockroaches?"

"Well at some point in the conversation, Rosalie said that crabs were just disgusting. Alice said something like: Guess what else is disgusting? Both Rose and I were super curious about her answer. Alice said: Cockroaches! But she had trouble saying the word out loud so she stated that the also had a crappy name and where probably named by intoxicated aliens."

"That would be a total drugged-Alice thing to say."

"I know. I can't say I'm surprised. So after that her and Rose tried to shorten their name, believe it or not, it took Alice about five minutes to yell "Cock! The name should shorten as cock." Rose finally broke into a fit of giggles and said that cockroaches where named after dicks, the dirty little things."

The way she told the story made me imagine being there watching them giggling and shouting "cock!" out of nowhere; It was hilarious.

"That was the first and last time we tried to use marihuana. We woke up next morning in very compromising positions. Believe it or not, Rose's hand had somehow reached under my shirt to cup my left boob and Alice had taken out her pillow case and filled it with her shoes, what was weird is that she was sleeping on the floor hugging it for dear life."

Alice and her shoes, what an addiction.

"Anyway, the cockroaches ended up with dick as their new name... You can stop laughing at me now."

I hugged my stomach, it was hurting from so much laughing.

"I can't help it babe!" I complained

She grabbed my hand and guided it to her tits. That shut me up immediately. Not fair, how could I compete with that? She had so much power over me.

We kissed like it was the first time, never getting enough of each other.

We went slow, memorizing each other, this wasn't just sex… it was more… It was a growing feeling between the both of us, maybe we couldn't describe it in words, but we could feel it in every touch and every caress.

I ran my hands all over her naked body, taking my time, finding my favorite parts of her body and committing them to memory. The expression in her eyes told me everything she was feeling, she observed every place my fingers traced, and her eyes would almost close when the pleasure was intense, or they would open wide when she was surprised at the sudden change of direction; we kissed until we ran out of breath and when I thrust into her, she would meet me in the middle.

That night, as we were falling asleep, the only words that came out of my mouth where: thank you.

Bella smiled and snuggled closer to me, drifting off immediately, and I followed a few seconds after. I didn't know what I thanked for, or to whom… but I was thankful for everything nonetheless.

My dreams where full of images of Bella, like they had been for weeks…

**Okay… We got a glimpse of Jacob here! **

**And everything else… wasn't it super extra mushy? **

**Aww… don't get used to it mwuahaha you didn't think I wouldn't give you even an ounce of drama did you?**

**So… Review… if you want to... at this point I'll just take Edward's advice and say: FUCK IF I CARE! Haha :P **

**If you're willing to be blackmailed, reviewers get a teaser… Or whatever the fuck that shit is called (the glimpse into the next chapter); you know, cuz I don't have a beta that tells me: "damn it you fool, you're using the wrong words!"**

**So, bye… until the next time… Love ya kids! (in my own fucking twisted way) ;)**

**Oooh! One more thing! :D While you wait, you might want to check "The teacher of the year" by DiamondHeart78 LOL :D I read it all TODAY! … In case you get bored waiting for my next update haha **


	21. Every Last Thread

**Okay Kids, here it goes.**

**If you look for me, I'll be hiding somewhere…**

EPOV

It had been a week or so from the day of mine and Bella´s first date. If it depended on me, I would have spent all day, every day with her; but apparently she claimed to have a life apart from the one under the covers of her bed. I'd been with her last night and left unwillingly this morning as we both had things to do.

I wanted to see her again tonight but she claimed the girls and her where having one of their "girl nights". I couldn´t convince her to dump Alice; such a shame.

Maybe Jasper would want to catch up, until what I understood from all the girl drama, he and Alice where no longer "a thing". So I'm a guy, and as long as he's not having sexy times with my sister, I can tolerate the ass' face. Besides, what else am I to do? Shit, I'm a lonely fucker.

I could always call James, but he's a total slut-chaser; he'd definitely dump my ass in half an hour or so when he's found some nice 4x4 girl. Or there was Ben, who undoubtedly would be drunk after one and a half beer and I'd have to carry his sorry ass home to his –very angry- girlfriend's awaiting arms. So, yeeyy a whole lotta fun with my only friends!

It never helped me gain friends the fact that other guy's girls would come after me; they either hated me for "stealing their girls", or feared me and my manliness. Okay, maybe I'm getting a little cocky there, but what the fuck…

I took a beer out from the fridge and started sapping through the channels, as I thought about my options. What the fuck could I do? It's not like I had many options and I didn't feel like going out alone. Just for once I wished I had a couple of friends who I could call over and say I was "having some beer with the guys" instead of having deep philosophical existentialistic conversation with myself.

But, if life throws you lemons… you sure as fuck go get a bottle of tequila and party your sorry ass off.

Which was not my case; instead I caught up on some files from the office I would need to check sooner or later, while watching some crappy reality show where the blonde girl always used stupid words like "totes" or "whatevs" or even "OMG, WTF" it was literally killing my neurons, but as any other intelligence-destructive shit, it picked my curiosity. She was challenged to survive in the wild forest with four other people, and there was no way she would win the challenge.

I felt like a pathetic adult. I mean working and watching a reality show? At some point I dozed off, not really caring where I was, my couch had always been extra comfy.

When I eventually woke up, it was nine a.m. the next day… crap. My neck hurt like a motherfucker from the awkward position I'd slept in and my muscles felt stiff. I reached for my phone because it was beeping with a new message.

I instantly smiled when I saw it was from Bella, the shit this girl did to me. But my happiness was cut short when I read what it said:

_We need to talk._

Four simple words that can take my world down in a second; I tried to look for a decent explanation, there had been nothing wrong between us, not yesterday, not the day before, not the week before, it had all been dream-like.

But that's the shit that scares you the most, things aren't always perfect and there´s always calmness before the storm.

I went through my morning ritual with moves that might seem robotic; my mind was reeling. I didn´t dare to answer her text. I knew I was stalling but I couldn´t bring myself to do it. Dread washed over me while I found no other excuse to keep me away from the phone.

_Just do it. Rip it like a band-aid. And if it´s absolutely necessary I´ll have to use the secret weapon: begging._

I exhaled through my nose and dialed the now familiar number.

And nothing.

It went straight to voice mail. This shit couldn't be good. I was close to pulling out my hair; the suspense was going to kill me.

I paced around my kitchen, my now cold coffee still in my hand. I tried again but there was nothing; I tried the landline but there was no answer either. I was about to call her office when the doorbell rang.

I contemplated not answering. Sighing, I walked to the door; what a crappy moment to have someone over.

I opened the door and there she was. I exhaled in relief when I saw her, beautiful as always, and it took a minute for my brain to catch up to my previous thoughts.

"You're here." I said as I gave her a brief hug. I would've kissed her too if my brain wasn't so caught up in so many bullshit going on in it.

"Yes" she said as she pushed some of her hair behind her ear. Something was different; there was a confusing emotion in her features.

She walked into my living room, and even if she'd been here before, waiting for me to pack an overnight bag, or pick something to bring back to her place, it always felt right when she was here. I'd never brought a girl home; here or to my previous apartment; I never felt comfortable with it, but Bella, she seemed to belong here or anywhere as long as she was by my side.

Those thoughts terrified me, and most of the time I couldn't understand them. What I did understand, was the dread I was feeling at the moment. This wasn't like any other day and the air seemed to bring certain finality with it.

"Listen Edward." Bella started "I don't know how to say this, but I've been thinking a lot lately." I didn't like the way this was going. The words that she was saying sounded foreign.

"You don't have to do this." I said with a little desperation to my tone. "Whatever it is, I know we can work it out Bella, is it because you've heard about my past? I promise I've changed, I swear to God."

"No, Edward, just listen to me okay. This isn't about your past, I kind of knew about your ways before I decided to give it a chance, and I honestly believe that whatever has happened has made you change. You're not the person I've heard stories about, I've seen your actions and you are so much more than what everyone gives you credit for. That's why I have to do this." Her voice cracked a bit at the end. I couldn't stand it.

"Just tell me what it is and we can work it out."

"No, we can't. I can't drag you with me Edward. I've made my mistakes and I must deal with them."

"Our baby is not a mistake." I said with a little venom in my voice.

"Of course it's not. But it's my baby and you shouldn't have to be worrying about that."

"I worry about it because I care."

"Then you have to understand I'm doing this now before it hurts you." I could see the tears threatening to come out.

"Before it hurts me, or before it hurts you? Why don't you trust me when I say I'm with you in this?"

"Yes! Okay, before it hurts me too. Because you have no reason to be here, nothing that ties you." She no longer fought her tears, she let them fall freely. And like the stupid masochist I was, I walked closer to her until I held her in my arms as she sobbed. "What will happen when you decide you no longer want this? What will happen to us? And what will happen to my child?"

"I'm not going anywhere, I swear. I more than care about you, both of you, Bella I lo…"

She shushed me. "Don't do this. I can't bear to hear it. You are young Edward, you have every right to go and live your life, no to settle for less because that's what you have."

"You should know better. I know our relationship hasn't been that long, but the feelings are real so, don't do this." I held her tighter to me, comforting her, but also hanging to every last thread; I couldn't lose her.

She disentangled herself from me and I almost cried at the loss of contact. "Let me do this. Don't make it harder for me, because it's happening regardless. I know it won't be easy but this is necessary."

She started walking towards the door through which she'd entered what felt like seconds ago.

"Bella don't go." She turned her head and the tears where staining her cheeks.

"Goodbye Edward." She kept on walking with her head down, her sobs audible in the silent atmosphere.

I wanted to run after her, but the moment was so surreal that I didn't even understand what had just happened; I felt rooted in place and almost numb to everything else as I collapsed to the floor and let my mind go blank.

**I'm biting my nails… and that's never good…**

**If it isn't a bit obvious, the next chapter will be in Bella's point of view, because what the fuck did just happen?!**


	22. Decisions and Over thinking

**Chapter 22: Decisions and Over thinking. **

**BPOV**

_The pillow is wet with my tears, but I can't stop them. Not after telling myself that I've done this for my own good, for my baby's sake and for Edward's…_

_It's better this way for him._

So many thoughts collide into one another, making no sense whatsoever. What I did for Edward.

Was I making it easier for him?

He would've eventually done it himself.

Would he?

What if he was the one? What if he was my person and I pushed him away?

_It doesn't matter now, you've already done it. _

The circumstances in which our relationship was unfolding were tough. I don't know what would have happened if so many factors weren't intervening in our equation, but it didn't matter because there wasn't an alternate universe to _us_. This was it. This was reality.

I took the steps towards breaking things up between us before we where both in too deep. But the pain in my chest told me I was past that. I tried to stop the fall but I'd already fallen.

I wished I could have frozen time; yesterday we were still in our little bubble, holding each other, having orgasmic sex, talking in hushed voices even if no one would have heard us, laughing together and sharing our every moment. When we said our goodbyes he was reluctant to leave.

_I should have let him stay instead of going out just to lose my oblivious bliss. _

Alice and Rose showed up at my place by six o'clock yesterday so we could get ready to go out together. I tried to convince them that we should just stay in, but I wasn't heard. Alice was hell-bent on going to drunken oblivion tonight and Rose was going to take advantage of the first night baby-free she could get. Esme offered to babysit for Rose, claiming that she should go out and have some fun at least once. I knew better, she didn't want to spend the night alone, as Carlisle was out-of-town and the baby was a nice and welcomed distraction.

"You girls go find us a nice spot and I'll order our drinks. One of you come back to help me with the drinks once you've found it." I said even if it was unnecessary. It was our strategy, we did so every time, but I needed a few seconds to form a plan. The fact that I wasn't going to be consuming alcohol would sure be odd to them.

It wasn't that I was trying to hide my pregnancy, but I just needed some time. I wasn't ready to answer the questions that they would ask.

"One Piña Colada with no alcohol and Two Margaritas." I hoped my plan would work, maybe the girls wouldn't notice my alcohol-less drink. After that I could just play the "designated driver" card.

The bartender had just set the drinks in front of me when Alice appeared by my side in her orange kimono, one of her shoulders uncovered and her orange and hot pink wedge shoes that made her look much taller than usual. "Oooh! Margaritas! Both are mine, order another one for Rose, we're right on that corner." I easily spotted Rosalie in the corner of the bar that she'd pointed, so I just nodded and she left with two drinks in hand.

Luckily for me, Alice's drama took away any attention I could have gotten for my drink-less night. She spent a whole hour unleashing her fall-out with Jasper into the most dramatic story you could have heard. Hell, she could have told Nicholas Sparks to take her drama and make a new novel or four.

She also kept the drinks coming, not caring for anyone else's drinks. Rose just observed me every once in a while and I swear I saw understanding in her eyes. She was being very perceptive but what I loved about Rose was that she wasn't going to push, she knew I'd come around eventually.

"And mark my words! I'm never ever getting back with that jerk! Yeah! He should have been named Jerkper. I don't care about his beautiful eyes, or that dirty blonde wavy hair I'd love my babies to have, or his expert mouth, or even his perfect beautiful coc-"

"Waaaa shut up! That's my brother you're talking dirt about missy. I don't care what you say about him but just don't even mention parts of his anatomy I'd rather not know about." Rose stopped her disgusted.

"Shut up. I'm sure you showered together." Alice replied sourly.

"Yeah, when we were like two and thankfully I have no memory of that part of my childhood."

"He's good in the shower too." Alice replied with a faraway look.

"Enough. I'm going to dance with any random person who doesn't suffer from verbal diarrhea." Rose made her way into the sea of people in the improvised dance floor that the small bar offered.

I stayed to keep an eye on Ali, but tuned out her one-sided conversation. Apparently she was expecting Jasper to ask her to move in with him for the past month and a half, which he hadn't done, which made him an inconsiderate asshole in Alice's book. I didn't understand what had caused the whole break-up but had a feeling that "moving in" was just the tip of the iceberg.

"…And he just goes and brings the word "marriage" into the equation! The guts of that guy! How can he mention it and not ask the question already? And really? Marriage talk before moving in? Why isn't he following the sequence? And what was he doing with that blonde bombshell outside of his office?"

I looked at Alice with sympathy; alcohol had just reached scary levels, I think she must have drunk enough to replace her whole blood count for tequila. I threw my arm around her shoulders and she sobbed against my shoulder. "Shh sweetie, I'm sure there's a rational explanation."

She backed to make room enough for her exaggerated gestures. "No there's not, we fought about something stupid, it was my fault. I went to apologize and there she was, all blooonde and stat-statue-statuesk-e" She shook her head as if that were going to clear her slurry words before continuing, her words running into one another.

"I swear her legs reach here!" She raised her hands above her head. "Sho super modelish. I hate her. She was beautiful. But ugly. Ugh."

"Honey, you're a thousand times more beautiful than any tall leggy blonde. She probably has gonorrhea anyways." I went down her level a bit. Nothing comforted Ali more than talking trash about someone.

"Yeah, that slut." Her head fell back against the booth and her eyes fluttered closed, her mouth mumbling incoherencies. I heard a few venereal diseases being numbered, along with the words "slut" and "whore".

It was unnatural for Alice to be this affected, she was usually a strong one, never breaking and never insecure. A small tear escaped me as I saw her tear-stained face and I wondered if she was going to get past this. I remembered a time when I asked the same about myself; my last break up had left me devastated and what Alice and Jasper had didn't even compare to my relationship. They were so much stronger, so much more in love, they seemed unbreakable.

I wiped my tear as I saw Rose approaching. She raised an eyebrow, I shrugged. When she sat down, I spoke loudly, in the volume we had to use in this noisy place where I suddenly didn't want to be in anymore. "I need some air; I'll be back in a few minutes." Rose nodded with a tight smile. This night wasn't at all what we had imagined. This break-up was putting a strain on the girl's relationship. We were "sisters" and we had vowed on numerous times not to let anything come between us, but Rose just couldn't be against her own brother.

Outside I found a nice spot in the sidewalk to sit. By nice I mean that there wasn't any gum or any disgusting thing to sit in. I got lost in thought, how Alice's and Jasper's breakup was affecting her relationship with Rose. She wasn't saying anything but I knew that deep down she was trying to figure things out. Over thinking even, how would she manage to split her time for both of them and what the hell would she have to do to avoid future drama in events such as family reunions?

Did she have to pick a side? Would she choose her real brother, or her "sister"?

It didn't matter how much I turned things in my head and how much I tried to focus on them, I always came back to thoughts about myself. And Edward. Our relationship, if you could call it that. What would be the cost of this little adventure I was trying to maintain? I had a lot to lose and that was for sure. I had to think about what would happen to my relationship with Alice, what would she think? Would she hate me?

And, oh my god! Carlisle and Esme, my second family, all of them. How would it look to them? The fact that I was with their son in this relationship limbo… He was… with _me_.

_Me_, the good girl.

_Me,_ the pregnant girl.

_Me_, the irresponsible girl.

_Me_, the one that apparently didn't know about protection.

_Me_, the drunken girl.

_Me_, the failure.

_Me_, the bad girl.

How did I manage to do this whole 180?

They would probably think I was trying to tie him with the pregnancy, which couldn't be further from the truth. The baby wasn't even his!

And there went my biggest fear. What would happen to my baby? I wanted so much to share it with my big extended and mostly non-related family. I wanted my baby to be born and grow in the middle of the beautiful family we glued together, piece by piece.

I didn't want something stupid like a breakup with Edward, or a misunderstanding with his family to create a void between every one of us. I was sure Emmett would be the first to jump into conclusions, and the others would have the seed of the doubt.

I was sure I was rambling in my head, over thinking everything, but I couldn't stop.

"Bella, Bella, BELLA!"

I snapped out of it and found Rose supporting almost all of Alice's drunken body.

"Hey, I'll help." I said as I stood and threw Ali's left arm around my shoulder and we started walking towards our car. She lay in the back seat and Rose took the passenger seat.

"You keep her or I keep her?" I asked Rose once I started the car.

"I think you better keep her. I don't know if Jasper's gonna be crashing in our place or something, you know Emmett invites him over to their testosterone filled nights when we do girls night."

"Yeah. You're right." I said awkwardly.

For the rest of the ride, we didn't say anything else and I dropped her at her place.

Getting Alice out into my apartment sure proved to be a challenge, but finally I managed to wake her up for enough time to make it to my couch. _I supported most of her weight honestly._

I went into my room and tried to rest, but I didn't get much sleep, my mind just kept going in circles around just _everything._ I couldn't stop, I would cry at times, then get angry and then just upset.

At some point I must have fallen asleep, because next thing I knew, a commotion woke me up. It sounded like something had fallen to the floor or something broke.

"Shit. Crap. Oh Fuck." I heard Alice say in the bathroom just before she lost the contents of her stomach.

I walked over and found her resting her head over her arm, which was draped over the now closed lid. I took a glass I always kept in the medicine cabinet and filled it with water and gave it to her along with a couple of pills.

"Here. This should make you feel better, take them and go back to bed."

"Thank you Bella." She swallowed the pills and tried to smile, but it was more like a grimace.

"Yeah, yeah. We've done this for forever." I smiled kindly while I helped her get into my bed.

"Yeah, you've always been the _motherly_ kind." She sat on the edge of the bed and hugged me. When she said those words, tears started pooling in my eyes and I discreetly tried to clean them. "Where's Rosie?"

I cleared my throat. "I dropped her off at her place." Her face fell and I knew she was thinking how we always ended up passed out together after a night of partying.

"You know new moms, worrying too much for their babies. I'm sure Jr. was just fine with Esme, but Rose wanted to pick him up first thing in the morning." I tried to reassure her. To make her think it had nothing to do with her, but it might not have been entirely true and she knew it.

"Yeah." She paused and looked me in the eye. "Bella?"

"Hmm?"

"Promise me nothing will ever come in between us?" She asked through watered eyes.

"I promise sweetheart." I whispered as she laid her head against the pillows and I smoothed down her wild hair, waiting for her to fall asleep once again and making a decision for once and for all.

I got up and grabbed my phone, sending a text message with the words: _we need to talk._

* * *

**Hi kids! :P**_  
_

**So, you probably thought I was dead or something... But no, here I am. okie...**

**For those who are still following the story... I'm so sorry :/ I've been a shitty writer.**

**I just needed some time to find my inspiration again. It's been a shitty year. I almost lost my grandfather at the beginning of the year, which was horrible. We're a very close family and see each other at least once a week, grandparents and uncles, so yeah we took it very hard. We've been taking care of him and he's much better now but at 72 years old I know our time is limited.**

**In the last chapter Edward was blaming God for what had happened and a few brought to my attention that God wasn't bad or cruel and you were absolutely right, God knows I've survived this past couple of months on little and big miracles, so I'm thankful. But remember that in those moments of pain, we don't think how pain will make us stronger and end up blaming God for what happens even if there's no logic behind our accusations. ;) **

**On the bright side: I'm having a baby cousin! Yay! I'm so happy! hahaha **

**By the way... I still need a beta reader... please? someone? **

**No? **

**Okay :P follow me on twitter! I'm liyd09 ;) but I'm kind of shy! hahaha**


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